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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29798616">The Heart of a Rebel</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldishcase/pseuds/coldishcase'>coldishcase</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Art Enthusiast Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo, Backstory, F/M, First Kiss, Hurt Alexsandr Kallus, Interrogation, Love Confessions, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Rebel Alexsandr Kallus, Repressed Memories, Sleep Deprivation, Sleeping Together, Truth Serum</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:16:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,396</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29798616</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldishcase/pseuds/coldishcase</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kallus walks into a trap and is captured by the Empire. Thrawn has questions for him. The Spectres swoop in to save their new friend and Zeb gets an armful of ex-ISB agent high on truth serum.</p><p>What secrets has Alexsandr Kallus been hiding from his best friend?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alexsandr Kallus &amp; Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, Alexsandr Kallus &amp; Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo, Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla, The Ghost Crew &amp; Kallus | ISB-021</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>234</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. )</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Agent Kallus..."</p><p>Thrawn's voice sends a chill down Kallus's spine. He comes around from behind him, where he's strapped to an interrogation table.</p><p>Thrawn wasn't supposed to <em>be</em> here. It was a trap, it had to be. And Kallus fell right into it.</p><p>He glares through the disheveled strands of his hair as Thrawn comes around to face him.</p><p>The Chiss tsks, looking him over. "How far you have fallen, Kallus. What a shame... you know, Yularen is heartbroken to find you defected. He was once so proud of you, expected such great things... and yet here you are, betraying him, betraying the Empire who took you in after the tragedy that befell your family... I would very much like to know why."</p><p>"I won't tell you anything," Kallus growls, not liking the direction this is going. Thrawn has obviously read up on his file. He isn’t going to get Kallus to talk by poking at his meager bonds within the Empire.</p><p>Sure, Yularen was the closest thing he had to a father once he was taken into the Academy as a ward of the state. But that's a generous description. Fathers shouldn't punish their children for having questions or showing the slightest hint of insubordination. At least, he doesn’t think so. He never had a real one.</p><p>The sound Thrawn makes next could be defined as laughter, if only it wasn't so cold and heartless. "Oh, I know. I don't expect to get any Rebel secrets from you, Kallus. Or do you go by Alexsandr, now? Fulcrum, perhaps?" He doesn't wait for an answer, which is fine because he wouldn't get one anyways. "No, we trained you too well for any amount of interrogation or torture to be effective. I doubt even our truth serum would get any worthwhile answers regarding your new rebel friends."</p><p>As the Chiss continues to walk around him, studying him like a particularly vexing puzzle, Kallus growls.</p><p>"Then why not just kill me, Thrawn?" His fists clench and unclench uselessly in his restraints. "I am of no use to you, and we both know what becomes of people who are no use to your <em>Empire</em>."</p><p>"On the contrary, dear Kallus..." the Grand Admiral disagrees in his usual quiet, chillingly calm tone of voice. "I am confident that you will be <em>quite</em> useful to me before this day is through... in fact, you are already giving me useful information. It bothers you, that those who prove to be hindrances to our work are... eliminated?"</p><p>What is he getting at?</p><p>Clearly, they aren't playing the same game here. Kallus is smart enough to keep his mouth shut, saying nothing for now. Until he understands what Thrawn wants, he'll be silent. After all, he can't mislead Thrawn if he doesn't know what information he's meant to be keeping him away from.</p><p>Thrawn releases a soft, disappointed sigh when he receives no response. "Answer the question, and I will answer one of yours. Fair?"</p><p>Kallus hesitates. He still doesn't see how his opinions on the Empire could be useful in any way...</p><p>But if Thrawn is asking, then there must be a purpose. He may as well answer this one, then ask what Thrawn wants from him. The sooner he finds out what game he's playing, the better. Sacrifice a small bit of intel to find out what the big bit he needs to hide is.</p><p>"Yes, you could say it bothers me." Kallus responds, keeping his tone and expression guarded. "Failure shouldn't be a death sentence. I've watched men who were paid barely enough to feed their families get beheaded simply because they were outsmarted by some very organized rebels. Men who were entirely loyal, if ineffective. Failure should not be a death sentence. It's abominable."</p><p>Thrawn hums thoughtfully. "I see... and your solution to this is not to <em>protect</em> your colleagues by defeating the rebels, but to instead help said criminals make a fool of our forces."</p><p>Kallus grinds his back teeth, disgusted by the play to his guilt. As if he should be loyal to the very fascists killing his coworkers simply because they will kill more if he doesn't. How did he not recognize the Empire for what it was sooner? It seems so painfully obvious now.</p><p>"It's my turn," he reminds Thrawn pointedly.</p><p>"Yes of course,” Thrawn waves his hand airily. "Ask away, Agent."</p><p>"What do you <em>want</em> from me?" He demands, eyes fixed on the blue-skinned alien. "If not Rebel intel."</p><p>The Chiss seems amused by his question, fixing him with focused red eyes. "Really, Kallus? All the questions you could ask, and that's all you want to know?"</p><p>"Answer it," Kallus insists, not letting himself be swayed. If Thrawn is mocking his choice and trying to divert his attention, he must be on the right track. Thrawn doesn’t want to answer him; he doesn’t want Kallus to be in on his game. But he’s honorable too, so Kallus is certain that he <em>will</em> answer it honestly.</p><p>"Very well," Thrawn stands in front of him, hands clasped professionally behind his back. There’s unhappiness in the wrinkle of his brow, further cementing Kallus’s belief that he’s on the right track. Asking the right questions is something he’s gotten very good at since defecting.  "Besides the obvious-- that you'll be used as bait to lure your new rebel friends here... I find myself... curious. Much like the art and culture of foreign worlds I have yet to conquer, you are an enigma to me, Agent Kallus. I understand the motivation behind the many Imperial failures like Minister Tua who turn coat to seek shelter on the other side. I understand it when incompatible soldiers like Miss Wren join the Academy and drop out to join the Rebellion. Their motivations and reasoning are clear. But you..."</p><p>Thrawn returns to pacing, stalking around him like a lothcat on the prowl.</p><p>"You... your motives make no sense to me. You are no second-rate Agent. You're skilled, you get results, you learn from mistakes; you were one of our best and brightest, Agent Kallus. You fully believed in what we are fighting for, the peace and order we are bringing to the Galaxy, world by world. You had a promising career with us. In fact, had I not discovered your ruse to pin your defection on Lyste, I was planning on taking you on as an… apprentice, of sorts. You have that attention to detail that makes the difference between a good Officer and an outstanding Officer."</p><p>Kallus stays silent, letting Thrawn go on as long as he's willing to. The commendations may have flattered him at one time, but now they just make him feel vaguely ill. Thankfully, his ‘attention to detail’ lead to his eventual realization that the Empire is evil.</p><p>"It was you who initially recognized the pattern of theft here on Lothal as the beginning of a Rebel cell, was it not?" Thrawn pushes. "And you nearly caught them right away, you nearly forced them to reveal their hand, <em>and</em> you recognized that they had the aid of a Jedi. That is no small feat, Kallus." He continues to pace, seeming more agitated. "You used Minister Tua's fear to stage the event that turned the very people of Lothal against the Rebels... it was an ingenious move.” Technically, it was Vader’s plan, but he did execute it flawlessly. “And it worked, they left the planet... had you more resources, you may have even captured them all. You are no coward or failure, Kallus... so why, <em>why</em> would you defect? what possible reason could make you throw your lot in with the likes of them?"</p><p>And that... well.</p><p>Now Kallus understands the game.</p><p>Thrawn wants to know whether Kallus's defection is just a fluke. He <em>knows</em> Kallus wasn't a Rebel plant, he seems to have deduced that much...</p><p>But now he's looking to understand <em>why</em> Kallus was swayed against the Empire. Possibly so that he can prevent a high-ranking officer like him from successfully defecting again.</p><p>Or, so that he can pick up on the signs for the next time it happens, if it ever does. Thrawn does like his behavioral patterns.</p><p>Kallus <em>has</em> to throw him off. If he's too honest, he may very well endanger future defectors like him, people who are honorable at their core, and who have a change of heart once they see the truth.</p><p>He can't lie too obviously either, though. Thrawn will pick up on it if he does.</p><p>To mask his internal discourse, Kallus laughs. He laughs at Thawn's expense, making it seem like his frustration is mere amusement for him.</p><p>He keeps laughing until Thrawn shuts him up, using the electric prods attached to his table to send a high voltage through him.</p><p>Then, he screams.</p><p>It doesn't last long, but it leaves him panting and weak and a little dazed.</p><p>Thrawn waits for him to regain his composure, a sour look on his face. "Are you quite done, Agent."</p><p>"Yeah," Kallus tells him breathlessly, a ghost of a smile still on his face, even after that. "It's just funny. The answer is so obvious, but you aren't asking the right questions."</p><p>His response only seems to frustrate Thrawn further. He can practically hear him thinking 'what do you know that I don't?'</p><p>As long as he's infuriating Thrawn, he's winning.</p><p>"And what," the Chiss starts, voice barely not a growl, "would those be, exactly."</p><p>Easy enough to answer. "The answer is it's the right thing to do," he responds, entirely truthfully. "And the right questions are the ones you don't want to ask."</p><p>"You may think your riddles will confuse me, but they still hold echoes of the answers I want," Thrawn tells him, taking a moment to ponder his words. "You never questioned The Empire before," Thrawn muses, still looking dissatisfied. "Something, or someone had to make you start asking questions, looking for reasons to rebel..."</p><p>Kallus stays quiet, not liking how close to the truth that is.</p><p>"Now the question is what, and when..."</p><p>Thrawn paces away, and Kallus hears an antigrav table activate before Thrawn returns, guiding whatever it is with him.</p><p>As it comes into view, Kallus's blood runs cold, and a mixture of anger and fear roars in his eardrums.</p><p>On the table are two items; his modified bo-rifle and the glowing meteorite he kept from Bahryn.</p><p>They are his only two personal effects... Thrawn must have taken them from his quarters.</p><p>He should have expected as much, but it still feels... wrong. It's a violation to have his favored weapon and his only keepsake added to Thrawn's 'collection'.</p><p>He rushes to school his expression before Thrawn turns around to face him.</p><p>"Your quarters did not tell me much about you," Thrawn admits with an edge of frustration. "Truly, save for these two exceptions, you gave every indication of being a model Imperial Officer. I myself have more personal effects than this. Your mementos amount to... what. A meteorite, and a non-regulation weapon?"</p><p>Kallus remains stubbornly silent. He won't be baited into giving Thrawn the answers he wants.</p><p>His silence pulls an annoyed sigh from Thrawn.</p><p>The Chiss continues, undeterred. "I had a sample of the meteorite taken. It seems to be of a rather unique composition, found only in the Geonosian system. It's a funny thing; when exposed to intense cold, it gives off heat."</p><p>Kallus sets his jaw, refusing to speak, or even so much as look at his meager possessions.</p><p>"... The last time you were in the Geonosian system, it seems that you chased a rebel into an escape pod, and were briefly stranded on the ice moon Bahryn. Is that where you found this? It ... was not mentioned in your report."</p><p>No, he left quite a few things out of that report.</p><p>"Your silence is telling, Agent." Thrawn prods him, giving Kallus one more chance to talk before he continues. "I understand that you were not rescued by our reinforcements. The report says that you were brought in by... scavengers? They picked up the signal from your transmitter before we did, and they collected you, along with the pod, and several other salvageable parts from the fight you had on the station."</p><p>Yes, and he promised them they'd be paid upon his return to his fleet. Instead, they had been arrested for 'theft' of damaged property that the Empire had abandoned... along with him.</p><p>His fists clench before he can think better of it.</p><p>"Your report says the rebel escaped you. It doesn't say how."</p><p>Thrawn waits, longer this time.</p><p>When no answer is forthcoming, the Chiss heaves a sigh. "Very well, if you won't cooperate, then we will use... other methods."</p><p>Kallus can't do much to stop him from his position, so he just waits, carefully watching the Grand Admiral as he moves to the other side of the room. He brings back a pair of syringes with him, which means truth serum, most likely.</p><p>"This is... a different concoction than you've been trained to resist, but just to be sure, I will be giving you a double dosage."</p><p>The first needle pierces the skin of his neck, and Kallus kicks his mind into gear, following his ingrained anti-interrogation training.</p><p>The trick with anti-inhibition drugs is to give himself something else to think and talk about. If he gets his mind focused on something to the point of obsession, it'll be harder for Thrawn to bring the subject away from that, and make him talk about anything else.</p><p>For Kallus, a song has always done the trick. He gets a song stuck in his own head, and all he does is sing it. This works better with more time to prepare… but he’ll do what he can with what he has. In truth, he hadn’t expected them to bother with interrogating him at all—and he certainly hadn’t expected Thrawn’s strange line of questioning.</p><p>The first song he thinks of is a Lasat battle hymn that Zeb was humming. He asked his friend to teach it to him, and he had.</p><p>The lyrics are all in Lasana, a language that Kallus only has a weak grasp of... but he doesn't need to know all the meanings for him to remember the words and the tune.</p><p>He closes his eyes, going over the words in his head while he still has control of his actions. Thrawn tries to get his attention, but he ignores him, focusing on recounting all of the lyrics in order.</p><p>A zap of electricity breaks his train of thought, sending him into spasms of pain, preventing him from thinking of anything else.</p><p>As he's recovering from the rush of electricity, Thrawn plunges the second needle into his neck. Not following safety protocol—but then, he doubts Thrawn cares for Kallus’s safety. It’s no skin off his nose if a traitor to the Empire suffers permanent brain damage.</p><p>His head is beginning to feel light and clouded, but Kallus makes another valiant effort to focus on the song, knowing that if he fails, he could end up jeopardizing his friends, and others.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Hullabaloo, Caneck! Caneck!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hullabaloo, Caneck! Caneck!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Todo saúda á querida vella Lira San </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Rali en torno a púrpura e verde </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Moita sorte aos queridos vellos gardiáns de honra </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Son os rapaces que amosan a verdadeira vella loita </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ese bo espírito de Lasat emociónanos </em>
</p><p>
  <em>E fainos berrar e berrar e berrar </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Así que loitemos pola querida vella Lira San</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Imos vencervos a todos </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Chig-gar-roo-gar-rem </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Chig-gar-roo-gar-rem </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Karrabast! Cousas reais!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lira San! </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Adeus a Wild Space</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tanto tempo para o hiperespazo</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Moita sorte aos queridos vellos gardiáns de honra </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Son os rapaces que mostran a verdadeira vella loita “Os ollos de Lasan están sobre ti. . . " </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Esa é a canción que cantan tan ben </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Así que adeus a Wild Space </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Imos vencervos a todos </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Chig-gar-roo-gar-rem </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Chig-gar-roo-gar-rem </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Karrabast! Cousas reais! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lira San!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He repeats it to himself, getting the powerful, catchy tune stuck in his head.</p><p>He may not be going into a traditional battle, but this is certainly going to be a battle of wits, so he feels that the song is apt anyways.</p><p>"Kallus," Thrawn calls to him insistently, standing far too close.</p><p>Why's he so close? Maybe he can't hear the song… he likes art, doesn’t he? Songs are an art form. Kallus should sing it louder for him.</p><p>"Hullaballo, caneck, caneck!" He belts out, puffing up his chest like he's supposed to.</p><p>Thrawn heaves an annoyed sigh, backing away. Kallus keeps singing.</p><p>When he takes a break to breathe, Thrawn interjects. "That language, it's Lasana, isn't it."</p><p>"Yep," Kallus answers easily, then starts humming the tune again from the beginning. He only pauses to inform Thrawn that he can't feel his fingers or toes.</p><p>"You've been restrained for some time, that is to be expected." Thrawn answers him patiently, moving over to inspect his old bo-rifle.</p><p>Kallus sings one of the verses, then frowns at Thrawn as he picks the weapon up. "You shouldn't take that. It's not... s' not a trophy."</p><p>This seems to catch Thrawn's interest. "Isn't it? You took it from Lasan yourself, didn't you?"</p><p>"I didn't <em>steal</em> it," Kallus tells him in a protesting tone. Honestly, for a guy who values art and culture so much, it doesn’t seem like he knows much about Lasats, or the honor guard. "I fought and won well. On Lasan. One of the... the honor guard surrendered his weapon to me. Boosahn Keeraw: the Lasat warrior way."</p><p>"Interesting..."</p><p>Thrawn sets the bo-rifle down. "It seems we really aren't so different. You too, have kept and sought to understand a piece of a culture you helped conquer. In this way... you have kept a part of it alive."</p><p>His head is too... swimmy right now for him to fully comprehend what Thrawn just said, but he thankfully remembers right then that he doesn't like Thrawn. "I'm not like you," he protests, scowling, "you're evil."</p><p>This makes Thrawn chuckle. "Evil is... subjective. Did your rebel friends not believe you to be evil, once? Did you not believe they were evil?"</p><p>"I know more now," Kallus answers, no self-control to keep him quiet. "And the Empire is definitely evil."</p><p>"Really?" Thrawn asks, faking ignorance. "And what do you know now? Convince me, Agent Kallus."</p><p>"Geonosis," Kallus starts, his song all but forgotten. He can't remember much of what he's said recently. "They wiped out the entire population. Poison gas. Krennec's orders. They...  invented something. It was redacted. They took the plans, then killed them all." His hands clench and unclench. "The whole species, killed off for a secret project. They were <em>helping make it.</em>"</p><p>He isn’t done. "And Lasan," he continues. "We were ordered to... to use T-7 ion disruptors on the people. I... I thought... I thought that the Higher Ups didn't know what they would do, before we used them. But I checked... they tested them first. On Wookies. Then ordered us to use them on Lasan. It was a massacre." His hands are trembling, remembering the horror of it all. "Do you know what Lasan is now?" He asks, his eyes haunted.</p><p>"The Mining guild owns the planet now," Thrawn answers coolly. "They provide the Empire with rare ore, crystals, and wood."</p><p>"The so-called uprising on Lasan that we were sent to make an example of..." Kallus adds, anger in his tone, "they were <em>peaceful</em> protests. The guild was mining too close to sacred ground. They were asked to stop, and instead they brought us in to kill them all. We wiped them all out, destroyed their home, all for a trade deal."</p><p>"Why do you care?" Thrawn asks, leaning in with fascination. "It was years ago. So why care about it now? Why dig for all these answers to questions you never bothered asking before?"</p><p>Thrawn is making him angry now. Isn't it obvious? "I met a Lasat." He answers, glaring daggers at the Chiss. "And he saved my life. I killed his people, he could have... <em>should</em> have left me to die. In the pod crash. My leg was broken, I was dead weight. But he saved me. They aren’t animals."</p><p>"On Bahryn?" Thrawn clarifies, standing up straighter. "You neglected to mention the rebel was Garazeb Orrelios."</p><p>"Nobody asked," Kallus fires back vindictively. Just like <em>he</em> never asked questions, for years. "His friends found us first. He could have taken me prisoner too, but he let me stay to wait for a rescue that never came."</p><p>Thrawn nods, letting him continue.</p><p>"That’s why the Rebels will always beat you," Kallus finishes, his hands no longer trembling. "The Empire is built on greed and lies. The Rebellion is built on hope and truth."</p><p>"Spoken like a rebel," Thrawn responds blithely. Something flashes, catching his attention. He examines it, then starts to make his way out of the office. "Thank you, Agent Kallus. You've been very helpful. Why don't you go back to singing your song, I have a meeting to attend."</p><p>At the suggestion, Kallus does go back to his song, idly humming the tune to himself as he waits on the table.</p><p>Their conversation is already fading from his memory, lost to the fog encroaching in his mind.</p><p> </p><p>°|●.*•</p><p> </p><p>"Fulcrum?"</p><p>The young voice catches his attention, though it's hard to tell exactly where it's coming from.</p><p>“Fulcrum, are you in here?"</p><p>This time, the voice makes him look up, he thinks that's where it's coming from. And, he knows that voice...</p><p>"Jabba?" He calls back and hears a quiet laugh in response.</p><p>"Yeah, coming down!"</p><p>A vent in the ceiling opens up, and Ezra drops down, landing with lothcat-like grace.</p><p>"Nice landing," Kallus compliments, happy to see him. He makes to leave the table, only remembering that he’s cuffed to the interrogation table when it prevents him from doing so. "Thrawn said you'd be here soon; I didn't think you'd come from the vents though. I figured you’d use your lightsaber on the door or something. Where's Zeb?"</p><p>Ezra pulls a face at him. "Did they drug you?"</p><p>A wave of the kid's hand releases his restraints, and he falls down, stumbling a bit as he hits the ground. The whole room spins briefly, making him reach out for the table to steady himself.</p><p>"Mhm," he answers, still working on reorienting himself. "Truth serum. Double dose. I <em>might</em> be a bit chattier than normal. Where's Zeb?"</p><p>Ezra shakes his head a bit. "You don’t say. Spectre 4 is the distraction. Come on, we have to go meet up with him. What's the best way out of here?"</p><p>"The vents, probably." Kallus answers, eyeing the ceiling. "Don't think I'll fit though."</p><p>"I meant for both of us, Kallus."</p><p>"I'm thinking..." Kallus runs a hand through his hair to somewhat tame it, then heads over to the table Thrawn brought in and picks up his bo-rifle. The stormtrooper armor he came in has been stripped from him, leaving Kallus only in the blacks underneath. He uses the carrying strap to secure it across his back, then grabs the meteorite too.</p><p>"Do you need the rock?" Ezra asks him, cocking a brow.</p><p>Kallus hefts it in his hand. "Yes. It's lucky. I know how we're getting out, follow me."</p><p>"Finally," Ezra sighs, following Kallus to a panel on the wall.</p><p>"What day is it?" Kallus asks, pulling the panel down.</p><p>"Uhh... fourth day of the third cycle?"</p><p>"Perfect." Kallus gestures to the chute that he just revealed. "This goes to the incinerator. It's only active on the second day of every second cycle, so it's safe. It'll take us directly below the docking bay. You first."</p><p>"How do we get up to the bay from the incinerator?" Ezra asks, eyeing it skeptically.</p><p>Kallus smiles. "You have your lightsaber, don't you?"</p><p>"Oh-" Ezra shakes his head, smiling too. "Yeah, that'll work. See ya down there."</p><p>He slides down, and Kallus waits a few moments before following suit. He makes sure that the panel shuts behind him.</p><p>This is good, Thrawn will definitely be scratching his head over how they got in and out of his office without once tripping the door sensor.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, I intended to post this all as a single one-shot, but Word decided to ruin my day and didn't autosave the last 4k words that I wrote :(</p><p>This is the first chunk of it, now edited, and I'll have the second chunk before too long too, but I need to re-write the ending. I'm kinda hoping that yall will help motivate me to slog through re-writing that whole chunk 😓 we'll see how fast I get through it. I might even add more to it if y'all have anything you really wanna see!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. D</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>time for Zeb and Kallus to reunite!</p><p>Content warning for this chapter: there is some pretty graphic gore described as part of Kallus' memories (I had to give him a really sad backstory, sorry in advance!)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Okay, Fulcrum,” Ezra greets him. “We’re here so… what now?”</p><p>Kallus stands up from where he landed, grimacing slightly. His leg already wasn’t feeling great after Thrawn targeted it during their brief scuffle, so landing on it definitely didn’t help anything.</p><p>The incineration ‘room’ is a wide expanse of space, interspersed with support struts and piles of waste ready for incineration. It’s dark, too, but thankfully Ezra’s saber gives them enough light to see where they’re going.</p><p>“Which bay are we meeting them at?” He asks, mostly to stall for time to think. He peers around the dark area, trying to make out the orientation of the ship.</p><p>“Um…” Ezra follows him, keeping his green saber aloft to provide light. “I’m not sure what number it is. Let me ask?”</p><p>He’s about to let him, but then something else catches his attention. He puts a hand up, “Nevermind, stop, just… be quiet for a moment.”</p><p>“Okay…” Bridger agrees, shaking his head a little as he falls silent.</p><p>Kallus closes his eyes, tilting his head. He can hear echoing gunshots and stomping feet… “There!” The former agent takes off, heading for the source of the noise over their heads.</p><p>“Ka—Fulcrum wait!” Ezra trails after him, looking confused. “Where?”</p><p>“Right here.” Kallus comes to a stop, then points at the ceiling over their heads. “This is where the others are.”</p><p>Ezra gives him a funny look, still holding his saber high as he comes up to Kallus’s side and peers up at the ceiling not far up above them. “Uh… how do you know?”</p><p>Now it’s Kallus’s turn to look at Ezra like he’s not all there. “I can hear the stormtroopers. Can’t you?”</p><p>“Oh, um, yeah! Definitely! Duh, I was just—making sure <em>you</em> could hear them.” Bridger hurriedly (and unconvincingly) explains.</p><p>Kallus throws him a flat look. “You aren’t a very good liar.”</p><p>“I know. Shut up.” Ezra gripes back, frowning up at the ceiling he needs to cut through.</p><p>“You can use the trash to climb up,” Kallus suggests. “Or the support beams, some of them have maintenance ladders.”</p><p>“Hey, who’s supposed to be rescuing who?” The young Jedi complains, heading over to one of the support beams to check for a ladder.</p><p>“I don’t think it’s a competition,” he retorts, letting himself smile a little smugly. “But if it was, I think the score is 3 to 1 in my favor, Jabba.”</p><p>Bridger starts climbing up the ladder. “Whatever, grandpa. Can you just be quiet while I make us an exit?”</p><p>“<em>Grandpa</em>?” Kallus asks, offended. “I’m only 35!”</p><p>“Really?” The Jedi asks, clearly taunting. “I thought you were like, 50. You act like an old man.”</p><p>Kallus shakes his head, realizing that he’s being teased. “Ha-Ha. Just cut the hole, will you?”</p><p>The Jedi gets to it, laughing a little as he starts cutting the hole out above his head. They have to both move out of the way when the hunk of metal falls through, hitting the floor with an echoing metal-on-metal clang.</p><p>“We have to give it a sec to cool,” Ezra explains, dropping off the ladder and landing lightly on his feet. “Do you need help climbing up, old man?”</p><p>“Certainly not,” The ex-imperial huffs. Perhaps it’s a lie, but his pride won’t let him admit defeat to a <em>ladder</em>, not until he’s actually tried it. “Can I borrow your saber?”</p><p>“Why?” Bridger asks, cocking a brow at him.</p><p>Kallus grins. “I’d like to leave a message for Thrawn. And, I don’t have any paint.”</p><p>It seems like Ezra is curious enough to find out what he means, because after a second, he hands over his lightsaber. “Fine; but be quick.”</p><p>The ex-imperial nods. Kallus takes the lightsaber, admiring it for a moment before turning towards the support strut and using the tip of the saber to carve letters into the durasteel.</p><p>“I’ve always wanted to hold a lightsaber,” he muses as he writes. “I remember the old Jedi, on Coruscant. Before the wars.” He pauses, shaking off that thought before continuing. “My brother made us fake ones, out of old rebar and recycled plastoid, so we could have pretend-fights. It was… fun.”</p><p>Ezra’s voice is definitely more on the friendly side of teasing when he responds. “I wasn’t sure you knew <em>how</em> to have fun, Kallus.”</p><p>“Those were better days,” the older man responds, done talking about it for now. “Done, how does it look?”</p><p>The younger Jedi shakes himself, looking over at what he wrote before snickering. “Add a winky face, with a tongue.”</p><p>Kallus does, careful not to score the support pillar too deep. He takes a step back once he hands the saber off to Ezra, admiring his handiwork. “We’ll see how much he likes <em>this</em> graffiti.”</p><p>On the pillar, he put ‘KRIFF U THRAWN ;P -FULCRUM’. Kallus made sure to keep the lettering shallow enough that it wouldn’t risk the support’s integrity—meaning that, since it’s somewhere no one goes, and isn’t damaging to the ship, Thrawn can’t have the strut replaced on Imperial protocols. So, either he removes it on his own dime, or he leaves it there, and lives with the knowledge that his flagship is permanently graffitied by Kallus.</p><p>Normally, Kallus wouldn’t bother with something so petty.</p><p>But, well. Thrawn’s new anti-inhibitor serum has sent his impulse control packing.</p><p>At least Ezra seems to approve.</p><p>The kid clips his weapon back to his belt, snickering to himself. “I wish I could take a picture; Sabine would be proud.”</p><p>“It’s enough for me to know that he’ll be royally pissed off,” Kallus tells him, heading back around to the ladder. “Is it safe to go up now?”</p><p>“Yep, just don’t fall, alright?”</p><p>“I will try not to.”</p><p>“Do or do not! There is no try!”</p><p>“… <em>What</em>?”</p><p> </p><p>°|●.*•</p><p> </p><p>Zeb is happy to see him, and he is happy to see Zeb. The Lasat waves to him once they’re within sight, prompting Kallus to attempt to walk out from behind the crates keeping them hidden to join up with his friend.</p><p>If it weren't for Bridger yanking him back behind cover, he would have run straight for the Lasat, and likely received a few blaster holes in the process.</p><p>"Fulcrum!" Ezra hisses, yanking him back behind the crates. "Wait for The Ghost!"</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"Spectres 4 and 5 have the troopers handled. Just stay put, okay?" Ezra gets his comm out, signaling that they're ready for a pickup.</p><p>Kallus sighs, staying where he is while Zeb and Sabine pick off troopers.</p><p>"Why <em>aren't</em> there many troopers here?" He asks curiously, leaning against one of the crates. He's still feeling a little dizzy.</p><p>"We figured that Thrawn would expect us to use a distraction and then take you somewhere else for extraction. Spectre 3 is on the other side of the ship making it look like we docked closer to Thrawn's office. My guess is that Thrawn bought the bait and is focused there to keep you from getting out. Too bad for him, he thought this was just a distraction, but it's the extraction point too."</p><p>"Smart," Kallus nods, looking impressed. "Your plan?"</p><p>"Spectre 4's plan, actually." Ezra answers. "He said you gave him the idea while you were going on about Thrawn's mind games. He figured that if he's expecting us to do something smart, then we can outmaneuver him by making a dumb plan."</p><p>"As long as it works," Kallus grins, then sits up straighter when the Ghost enters the bay. "Do we just run for it?"</p><p>"As soon as the ramp goes down, yeah." Ezra responds, getting up. "Do you need help?"</p><p>"No. Maybe." Kallus answers, glancing over at Zeb to make sure he's still alright. The ramp goes down to let them in. "We'll find out." His leg didn’t like climbing up the ladder, but he managed that on his own. Running, however, is a different thing entirely.</p><p>The ex-imperial breaks into an unsteady run, trusting Ezra to cover him from behind with his lightsaber. About halfway to the Ghost he trips and falls forward, his bad leg acting up and making him lose his balance--</p><p>But as soon as he starts to face-plant, a big paw snatches him up, yanking him up to be held tight to a warm, furry chest.</p><p>Kallus doesn't hesitate to hold on, burying his face in the familiar purple fur. "Hi Zeb, I missed you..."</p><p>The Lasat rumbles a laugh, holding him more securely before jumping up onto their ship. "Missed you too, Kal. I'm glad you're alright."</p><p>The rest of the crew gets on the ship and runs to man the guns, ready to fight their way out and go collect Chopper. Kallus doesn't let go of Zeb, who takes him up to the cockpit, where Hera is.</p><p>Once Zeb sits down in the copilot seat, Kallus sticks his face right into his furry shoulder. "Your fur is nice..."</p><p>Zeb makes a noise of surprise, but doesn't move him away. "Oi, you're in a weird mood. Ezra, what's going on with Kal?"</p><p>A snicker of laughter bursts over the internal comms. "Oh yeah, forgot to mention, Zeb. Thrawn drugged him with truth serum so he's feeling kinda... friendly."</p><p>"S'okay," Kallus assures Zeb, speaking directly into his fur. "I sang the battle hymn so he couldn't ask me anything important. He just asked weird questions about my bo-rifle anyways." At least, that's what he can remember. "I didn't tell him anything about the rebels... promise. Except that you're gonna beat the Empire. Cuz it's the truth."</p><p>"Yes we are." Zeb rubs his back a little as he talks. "I believe you, Kal. Are you hurt?"</p><p>"Just a little," Kallus admits, holding Zeb tighter. "I'd rather stay here though. You're nice, and warm, and make me feel safe."</p><p>"That’s the drugs talking," Zeb scoffs, but it's a warm sound.</p><p>"No it's not," Kallus argues, settling closer with a sigh. "Just makes it easier to say. I love you, Garazeb. 'M just too scared most of the time to say so." It doesn’t register him that that’s something out of place to say—he takes the way Zeb’s grip briefly tightens as acceptance, rather than the shock it is.</p><p>Hera shoots a look over at them, but doesn't interrupt, focusing on flying and getting Chopper back on board.</p><p>Zeb is at a loss for words. Kallus feels him swallow, then hold him a bit tighter. "Tell me that again when those drugs wear off, Kal, then we'll talk."</p><p>"Okay," Kallus says agreeably, already feeling tired enough to sleep on Zeb's chest. "I'll tell you as many times as you want me to, whenever you want me to." Some part of himself knows he's going to be incredibly embarrassed later, but that part is not even <em>remotely</em> in charge right now. "Oh!"</p><p>He sits up, remembering the rock he's carrying. "I got our meteorite back! And my bo-rifle!"</p><p>"You kept the rock?" Zeb asks, looking perplexed, but not in a bad way.</p><p>Kallus hums an affirmative, resting his head back on Zeb's shoulder, but turned now so that he can speak better. "It helped me with my nightmares. Like a night light. And it gets warm when it's cold, which is nice when they have to cut the heating to save power." He misses the looks that Zeb gives him when he says that, already moving on to the next thing. "I thought the Empire threw them out when they caught me. But Thrawn kept them for his collection. His mistake."</p><p>"You should check them for trackers before we jump," Hera says, still flying the ship to evade the TIEs that are after them. "Chop! Get up here and scan for trackers!"</p><p>The droid, who just got back onto the ship, grunts in annoyance before wheeling his way up to the front of the ship.</p><p>“Hello, C1-10P,” Kallus greets, affectionately patting the droid’s battered dome. “Good job.”</p><p>The astromech grunts out a friendly greeting in return, then runs a scan, gives them the all clear, then Hera makes the hyperspace jump. They don't go directly back to base, not wanting to give the Imperials a clear line to track back to Yavin IV. The first jump is fast, over once they’re out of tracking range, and then they set off to the base.</p><p>Chopper pats Kallus on the leg with one manipulator, beeping out a ‘good job on not being dead,’ to him before making his way out.</p><p>Kallus laughs, softly thanking the droid as he settles back on Zeb’s chest.</p><p>“I still don’t get why that bucket’a’bolts likes you,” Zebs muses, shaking his head.</p><p>“I’m irresistible to ill-tempered Rebels,” Kallus retorts cheekily, then grins when he sees the disgruntled look on Zeb’s face. “He just likes being praised for his work, so does AP-5.”</p><p>The Lasat rolls his eyes, turning his face away from his armful of ISB Agent-turned-Rebel.</p><p>"Your plan worked," Kallus tells Zeb, moving on as he watches the streaks of stars pass by the viewport. "Thank you for saving me. Again."</p><p>"It was a team effort," Zeb tells him, ruffling his hair fondly. "And you're one of us now, Kal. Of course we came to rescue you."</p><p>Kallus just turns his head back into Zeb's fur, hiding his face like that. "I don't deserve you."</p><p>"Now, hey," Zeb protests, holding Kallus a bit closer. "That's <em>definitely</em> the drugs talking. You got every right to be here as I do, Kal. You stuck your neck out for us, you proved you're a good guy."</p><p>Hera slips away to let them be, probably off to find Kanan and get some alone time of her own.</p><p>Kallus gives a noncommittal sort of hum. "... don't really wanna talk about this. I'm tired." And to prove it, he yawns, closes his eyes, and tries to drift off.</p><p>He doesn't get very far before Zeb shakes him a bit, pulling him up. "Nope, no falling asleep until we do a medscan. You don't wanna talk about it, fine. But stay awake until we get back to base."</p><p>The demand gets a soft, unhappy sound, but Kallus doesn't try to fall asleep again. "'Kay. Tell me a joke, Zeb."</p><p>"You don't like my jokes," Zeb responds, still rubbing circles into his back.</p><p>"No, I do!" Kallus insists, "I just hate the way I laugh. Your jokes are good. Do you want me to tell you one?"</p><p>Zeb adjusts his hold to make them a bit more snug, settling in for a long trip sitting like this. "Go ahead, Kal."</p><p>The Agent hums happily, turning his head to smile at his friend. "Did you know that Thrawn is rather short for a Chiss? One of the other ISB Agents found out. Apparently someone he knew from his home world called him a shrimp." Laughter bubbles out of him as he continues. "We all called him Grand Admiral Prawn behind his back. He hated it."</p><p>As he finishes, Zeb joins him in laughing, his deep chortle melding in with Kallus's snorting.</p><p>Kallus looks up at him when they calm down, still smiling. "Told you my laugh is embarrassing."</p><p>"I like it," Zeb promises, gently running the tips of his claws through his hair. "You should laugh more."</p><p>"I'll try," the former Imperial says, playing with a patch of fur. "No promises though. It's easier right now... the anti-inhibition drugs make me not care so much about whether people like me or not. Sometimes I still feel like I don't belong here. 'S why I stay on Yavin mostly."</p><p>"I like you," Zeb assures him, looking concerned. "And so does the rest of the crew... We wouldn't have picked you up after Atollon if we didn't think you were a good guy, Kal."</p><p>Kallus won't meet his eyes. "I know... I know that... but I still did bad things. Really bad things. I haven't earned it yet."</p><p>"Karabast," Zeb mutters, then pulls Kallus up so he has to face him. "Cut that kark out. You <em>have</em> earned it. You think we don't know how hard it is to go against the Empire? You should talk to Sabine, mate. She thought the Empire was right too. She made weapons for them. Really nasty stuff. But when she realized it was wrong, she left. Just like you. You think she doesn't belong here?"</p><p>"Of course she does-"</p><p>"Then so do you." Zeb cuts him off. "So cut that out. Yeah, you did bad stuff for the Empire, because it's what they told you was right. But you went and asked the hard questions, figured out for yourself that they were wrong, and then you did the right thing. That's what matters."</p><p>“… I just don’t know how you can forgive me.”</p><p>“I told ya,” the Lasat sighs, letting him lay back down on his chest. “Lasan—what happened there? It’s over for me. I’ve moved on. Someday I wanna show you why… but for now, just know it’s over for me. I don’t blame you, I don’t hate you for it.”</p><p>“It’s not over for me.” Kallus tells him, an ache in his voice. “I still have nightmares about it… and recently, I’ve had ones about you being there. Watching you die…” they don’t make any sense. He screams and fights and begs his men to stop the march. He order them to cease fire but they just keep going. He turns around to fight his own men but no matter what he does, when the dust clears all he sees are dead Lasats, Zeb's broken body at his feet. And Thrawn’s hand on his shoulder, telling him he’s done a good job. Good soldiers follow orders.</p><p>He’s trembling again, tears in his eyes before he really registers that he’s crying. Zeb is holding him close, petting his hair and making soft, soothing sounds.</p><p>“Kal, please,” he murmurs softly, “don’t cry… if you want, when you’re feeling yourself again, you can start bunking with me. Maybe it’ll help with the nightmares.” The offer helps a little, but he doesn’t quite have the control to stop himself from sniffling miserably. “You gotta realize that was happened on Lasan… it ain’t your fault. You were following orders. If you didn’t do it, they woulda just got rid of ya and put some other sycophant in your place. And now you’re doing a lot of good helping the Rebellion, and you wouldn’t be helping us so much if ya ended up dead before you ever met us.”</p><p>Alexsandr is a little too distressed still to take all his words to heart, but he gets the gist of it. He nods, even though he still feels some guilt.</p><p>“I’m happy you’re here now,” Zeb adds, nuzzling his cheek encouragingly. “I’m real chuffed. You got us out of more ‘n one tight spot, mate. Dunno where we’d be without ya.”</p><p>Kallus gives him another nod, but the best he can give is half-hearted agreements. The memories of his nightmares still weigh heavily on his vulnerable mind.</p><p>Zeb heaves a small sigh, seeming to realize that now isn’t the best time to focus on heavy subjects like this. “let’s talk about somethin’ else. I don’t like feeling like I’m givin’ yeh an interrogation right now, with you drugged up like this. What do you wanna talk about, Kal? Or should I just pop on some music?”</p><p>“I don’t mind telling <em>you</em> things,” the former ISB Agent admits with a sigh. “I <em>can</em> stop myself if I don’t want to share. I have training for that. But I trust you, Garazeb.” He tries for a smile, wanting to reassure his friend that he’s okay. “Anyways, the more I tell you now, the less I have to stress over telling you later. I’m an open book, Zeb. Ask me whatever you want.”</p><p>The Lasat takes a moment, seeming indecisive over whether he should take the invitation or not.</p><p>In the end, it seems that his curiosity wins out. “Okay, Kal. Tell me something I don’t know about you.”</p><p>The Agent hums… combing over the things he remembers already telling Zeb, and thinking of something new to reveal. His mind catches on something Thrawn said early in his interrogation, about the tragedy that took his family.</p><p>“My family,” he starts, heart clenching a little. He hasn’t talked about them to anyone really, not since he was enlisted in the Imperial Academy. “My mum… she used to call me Sasha. It’s why she named me Akexsandr; because that’s a nickname, and her mum's name was Sasha. I didn’t know my Dad. But my mum got married to my step-mother when I was 9. She had a son too, my brother Greffon. He was 3 years older.” And he loved to remind Kallus who was the big brother. The old memories make him smile nearly as much as they hurt to talk about. He remembers the facts; he has to, because there’s no one else left to remember them. “He used to kick my ass at blitzball. We got along fast, he taught me how to climb in the lower levels of Coruscant. He taught me a lot of things, said he always wanted a little brother.”</p><p>Gods, he misses Greffon something fierce. He feels himself tearing up again as he talks. It’s good though; cathartic. This is something he’s needed to talk about for a long while.</p><p>“The clone wars happened, and suddenly a lot of people were leaving Coruscant, so Greff and I got jobs as close to the upper levels as we could to help out our mums. We got an apartment in the mid levels, closer to the Senate and the Temple, where it was supposed to be safer. Greffon studied and worked hard so he could get into the Flight Academy on a sponsorship from a senator. One of the good ones, from Pantora. Greffon promised us that he would earn his license and take us all with him to live on a nicer planet, somewhere that we wouldn’t be stuck in the slums.” He lets out a sigh, twirling strands of Zeb’s fur between his fingers. “He snuck me into his training ship a few times to show me what flying was like. I hated it. He flew like a maniac.” Even as he says it, his tone is warm. As much as he despised his brother’s reckless flying, he would give almost anything for just one more jaunt to the skies with him.</p><p>The soft purple of Zeb’s fur is soothing to him. It helps to keep him grounded now, as he recounts difficult memories to his best friend. “life was… hard for us. Coruscant is not a good place to grow up poor. While other cities may metaphorically hide their poverty, sweep it under the rug… Coruscant quite literally buries their poor, forgets us in the layers that make up the underbelly of the urban areas. Air quality is abysmal, children can die young if they don’t have a way to visit the upper levels often. Crime runs rampant, making orphans of many of us.”</p><p>“It wasn’t all bad though,” the blond continues, wanting Zeb to fully understand where he comes from, who he was before he became ISB-021, Agent Kallus. “The community I lived in was very tight-knit. We looked out for one another, shared responsibilities. Most every parent worked, and several were unmarried. So, when my mum was away, other parents looked after me for her, and in turn she took care of theirs while they worked. I grew up with plenty of friends, we all saw one another as siblings. It wasn’t… too different from this Rebellion, really. Times were hard, but we made do with what we had, and we stuck together like the family we were. Perhaps that’s why I find it so easy to sympathize with your cause, and why I so dearly want to fit in with all of you.”</p><p>“I… miss my family.”</p><p>He closes his eyes, taking a shuddering breath. He needs to get back on the subject. Kallus steels himself, forging on with his story. “I was a little over 17 when the war made it to Coruscant. There was a battle right over the city. Everyone was told to shelter at home, so we did… but one of the ships came crashing down. The Jedi got half of it to a landing platform… but the other half crashed right on top of the city. Right over our new apartment.”</p><p>His hand fists in Zeb’s fur, but he keeps going, needing to finish now that he’s started. “The upper levels are all shiny new durasteel and reinforced transparisteel… most of them held, even under the wreckage. But the mid and lower-levels… they’re old. A lot of it was rusted out or compromised. A lot of the older apartments buckled, and crumpled under the crash. Ours was one of them.” He breathes in deep, long-repressed memories flashing behind his eyelids.</p><p>“If you need to stop, Kal…”</p><p>“No,” he insists, shaking his head. In a roundabout way, he’s already feeling a bit better for having this much off his chest. “I don’t remember much after the initial crash. I hit my head and passed out. When I came to, they were all… --I was half-under a beam, and it’s a miracle it didn’t crush my spine.” He broke his ribs, and he’s lucky that’s all that happened to him. Or so he was told. He would have traded a severed spine for any of their lives in a heartbeat. “But my family… they all died. There was… so much blood.”</p><p>A shudder runs through him, remembering his brother’s dead-eyed stare, his face twisted in pain, a jagged durasteel beam through his chest. His mother, the half of her that he could see, face-down and unmoving. His step-mother, only her crushed legs visible to him, scream and sobbing until she stopped, and did not start again. The gruesome images are forever burned into the backs of his eyelids.</p><p>He did nothing but wail until he passed out, woke up again and continued to the same result, again and again until his throat was too raw to make another sound. Until help finally came.</p><p>“It took the relief effort two days to find me,” he says, much quieter. “By that time, the Republic had become the Empire. After I healed, I was taken in as a ward of the new regime and enrolled in the Imperial Academy.” And Yularen took a special interest in him, seeing potential in the grieving, shell-shocked teen. They never gave him a chance to find out if anyone else he knew from the lower levels had survived, if he could go back to them. The Empire saw and took the opportunity to mold Kallus into an efficient, ruthless soldier, one with no ties outside the Empire itself. No family, no interest in getting close to anyone else after such a horrific loss…</p><p>It was easy for the Empire to turn him into a killer. It was easy for him to hate the Republic, the Jedi, both of whom failed him. He lost the only thing he ever really had; his family.</p><p>It was easy to hate the Rebellion, too. When he believed that the Empire was bringing peace and order, they had seemed like warmongers. After losing everything in one war, he had wanted so badly to prevent another one.</p><p>Lasan and Geonosis alone did not turn him against the Empire. Thrawn really doesn’t know anything about Kallus if he thinks those alone were enough to break his dogmatic belief. Thrawn could never understand—Kallus has seen the reports of the civilian casualties suffered during his campaigns. He simply doesn’t value innocent life… so few in the Empire do.</p><p>No, it was when he discovered an old Clone report, one that managed to survive the heavy censorship surrounding the rise of the Empire that broke his faith. It’s when he realized that Palpatine had played both sides of the clone wars, that he brought the war to Coruscant and so many other planets… When he realized that The Empire existed because Palpatine had played both sides against each other, for years, killing countless innocents on both sides, all so that he could seize control of the broken remains.</p><p>It’s when he realized that he’s serving the same Monster whose game of chess murdered everyone he held dear, and ripped families away from so many others as well. It’s when he realized that Palpatine isn’t done with his game, he’s still playing it, playing them all, and he won’t stop until there’s nothing left to break. That’s when he rejected the Empire, and embraced the Rebellion.</p><p>Kallus buries his face in Zeb’s fur again. “My mum would hate what I’ve become… I dishonored her for letting the Empire use me for so long. So I… I have to do this, I have to fight now, and I have to see the Empire fall.”</p><p>Zeb continues to hold onto him, not shying away as Kallus breaks down into tears again, needing to cry like he hasn’t had the chance to since he was 17.</p><p>His friend waits for him to calm down a little, get some of his grief out of his system before he speaks.</p><p>“I think your family would be really proud of you, Kal.” Zeb tells him, sounding genuine. “It’s not right, what the Empire did, taking advantage of a kid like you when you’d just lost everything. You’re honoring ‘em now, fighting back, using what you know against them. The important thing is that you figured it out, Kal, and when you found the truth, you made the right choice.”</p><p>That sounds like something his brother would have said. It soothes an old ache in his soul.</p><p>“Maybe you’re right,” Kallus allows, yawning again. He doesn’t mean to; he just can’t help it. “Are you sure I can’t sleep? I haven’t had a chance to since before my assignment.” That was well over two days ago. He’s well past his limit now, after an indeterminate amount of time in a sleep deprivation chamber, Thrawn’s odd interrogation, the rescue, and now all this soul-baring. It’s too much, and he’s exhausted.</p><p>Zeb leans over, looking at the ship's display. “Think you can hang on for ten more minutes? It’s not much farther.”</p><p>“I’ll try.” Kallus keeps his eyes resolutely open, staring out the viewport. “… What about your family, Garazeb?”</p><p>“I had a big family,” his friend answers easily, letting the subject change so Kallus can take a much-needed emotional break. “Before, it was me, my Ma and Pa, my three sisters, both sets of my grandparents, and a few of my aunts and uncles. We shared everything, it was nice.” Kallus isn’t looking, but he can hear the smile in his voice. “It’s just my Nan and my littlest sister left now. They got out early, before the Empire set up a blockade. Elderly and young first.” He doesn’t say it with bitterness, which is both surprising and relieving to Kallus. “I kept in touch with Nan after deciding to fight with the Rebellion. They’re safe now. I’ll take yeh to meet ‘em someday.”</p><p>“Are you sure?” Kallus finds himself asking, unable to prevent his insecurity from showing. “I mean… would they feel safe?”</p><p>“Kal,” Zeb says almost reproachfully. “You <em>aren’t </em>the Empire. And for the record, I feel safe ‘round you. And if <em>I</em> say you’re safe, then they <em>know</em> you are.”</p><p>The ex-Imperial sighs, sinking into Zeb’s furry warmth. “If you’re sure.”</p><p>The ship drops out of hyperspace then, just outside of Yavin IV. Zeb reaches over to the controls, flicking on the auto-landing sequence.</p><p>“Here we are. Think you can walk, mate?”</p><p>Probably. His leg is in a bad way, but it’s not broken again. The bigger worry is whether he has the will to stay upright, given his general exhaustion and the drugs running through his system.</p><p>He decides to just answer honestly, rather than be technical about it. “I’d rather not find out,” he admits, sighing a little.</p><p>The fact that he doesn’t also say that he liked it when Zeb carried him on Bahryn is a feat achieved more by him being too tired to explain himself than it is any self-control he has left.</p><p>“Fair enough,” Zeb responds with an easy smile. “Hold on tight, Kal.”</p><p>That’s an order that Kallus doesn’t mind following without question. He gets his arms around the Lasat, letting Zeb pick him up and carry him out of the cockpit.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ahah so I stayed up until 7am and finished re-writing the last part of this story!! but it got like,, a lot longer than it was originally, sooo.... I'm breaking it up into two chapters! It is NOT getting an extension after 4, though.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kallus doesn’t get to sleep, even after his medscan. He doesn’t have a concussion, and the drugs running through him won’t cause any permanent brain damage, that’s not the issue.</p><p>No, Draven wants a debriefing. And he won’t wait.</p><p>It doesn’t matter that Kallus already told them that he wasn’t interrogated for any Rebel secrets, it doesn’t matter that he <em>did, </em>in fact, get the data spike in and managed to upload everything to his partners (who escaped) before Thrawn caught him. It doesn’t matter that he’s so exhausted that he’s swaying on his feet.</p><p>He was captured, and they need a full recounting of what he told Thrawn before he can rest.</p><p>Zeb got pulled away to help with cargo shortly after they got to the medbay, with a promise to be back as soon as he can.</p><p>Kallus wishes he’d had the foresight to ask for a comlink, so he could let Zeb know he’s leaving before the Lasat comes back looking for him. As it is, he just tells the medical droid to let Zeb know where he went, if he comes back here.</p><p>Then he gets dragged off by Draven, who is walking far too fast for his exhausted and drugged self. It’s a wonder how he manages to make it all the way to the debriefing chamber without falling on his face.</p><p>It is a relief when he makes it into the chair.</p><p>“Start from the top,” Draven demands, no pleasantries. Good, the sooner this is done with, the sooner he can find somewhere to pass out for the next 24 hours.</p><p>Kallus recounts the barebones of how he and his two mission partners, Brutus and Iscariot, arrived at and boarded the Star Destroyer that was carrying the intel they heard about. He boarded the ISD alone, in his stolen stormtrooper uniform (of which he is now stripped down to only the blacks). He met no resistance on his way to the server room, so familiar with protocols and the expected gait and tone of troopers that he was able to blend in flawlessly.</p><p>He installed the data spike, guarded the room to make sure it went through, uploaded the intel to the ship, confirmed the upload with his partners, and then began making his way out, seemingly undetected.</p><p>Only, he lost contact with Brutus and Iscariot on the way back, and the ship was gone by the time he made it to the exit point. Thrawn was there waiting for him instead.</p><p>The fight was brief, Thrawn seeming to know who he was even with the helmet on; exploiting his bad leg and the poor visibility the bucket afforded. Someone must have tipped him off, or he must have expected him… because Thrawn was ready and waiting.</p><p>He was thrown in an interrogation cell. Bright lights and intermittent alarms kept him awake for a full 24 hours, standard protocol for imperial interrogations.</p><p>They might have left him in it longer to soften him up more, he isn’t entirely sure.</p><p>Draven listens intently, not interrupting Kallus yet.</p><p>The former ISB Agent takes in a calming breath before continuing his report. “Thrawn brought me to his office for the actual interrogation. I told him he wouldn’t get anything out of me. And he said… he knew that. So, I figured he was just getting payback for betraying him, but that’s not his usual MO.” He sits up straighter, hoping that will help him keep from passing out mid-sentence. “I prodded him a little. He asked me why I took issue with the way Imperial failures are disposed of, and in return, he told me what he wanted from me.”</p><p>“Which was?” Draven snaps, lips downturned.</p><p>Kallus refrains from snapping back, keeping his tone even. “He wanted to know my motives for defecting, sir. I don’t fall into his predictable behavior patterns. In fact; if it weren’t for the debacle with Ezra coming to extract me, and my slip-up there… I wasn’t even a suspect. He never would have guessed I was Fulcrum.” A tiny, smug smile twists the corner of his mouth. Thrawn didn’t say it in so many words, but by telling Kallus that if it weren’t for discovering his ruse with Lyste, he would have wanted to personally train Kallus… well, the former ISB agent can read between the lines. “Apparently, he’s taken my betrayal quite personally. He wanted to mentor me, and he’s more than a little pissed that his most competent subordinate defected.”</p><p>“So, what did you tell him?”</p><p>“Not much,” Kallus shrugs blithely. “I laughed in his face; he didn’t like that. Told him the truth; I defected because it’s the right thing to do, he liked that even less. Then he gave me two doses of some new anti-inhibitor drug: your droid took a blood sample from me to study it and find a counteracting agent. My memory gets a bit hazy after that, but I’m fairly certain I kept myself from talking much by singing a song over and over. I remember telling him something about my bo-rifle and how I got it, and I might’ve said something about Bahryn and Lasan, but I didn’t tell him what I know about the clone wars, or the main reason I defected.” Draven knows what he’s talking about; he had to submit the clone report that turned him as part of his evaluation before becoming an official informant as Fulcrum. Draven also knows his complicated feelings regarding Garazeb Orellios. It took… a lot for Kallus to convince his contacts with the Rebellion that he genuinely wanted to help them.</p><p>Ahsoka <em>officially</em> recruited him after Zeb got him looking for answers, but she could only put him in contact with the right people in the chain of command. It was entirely up to him to convince them that he’s on their side.</p><p>So, Draven knows why he defected. He doesn’t know everything, not the things he told Zeb about his family, or the nightmares he has about Lasan… but he knows enough to not doubt that Kallus is with the Rebellion.</p><p>“If your memory clears up, I want a more detailed recounting,” Draven tells him, relaxing a fraction.</p><p>“Yes sir,” comes the easy agreement. “Shall I continue?”</p><p>“Go ahead.”</p><p>A soft hum precedes the rest of his story. “Either he believed that he got what he wanted, or he gave up, and then he left me in his office to go attend to something. I expect that he went to deal with the Spectres, seeing as Ezra dropped out of the vents to free me not long after that. We escaped his office via the garbage chute, then rendezvoused with the rest of the rescue team and the Ghost, who brought me back to the base. Chopper did a scan for trackers, and said that I, and my reclaimed possessions, were clean. May I go now?”</p><p>“Your reclaimed possessions?”</p><p>“My bo-rifle and a meteorite I kept from Bahryn,” Kallus explains. Draven knows the meteorite in question, as it too was in his story submitted as evidence that he had a reformative experience on the Geonosian moon. “Thrawn kept them in his collection, presumably to try to understand me better. They didn’t help him much, per his own admittance, but his keeping them meant I was able to take them with me as we escaped.”</p><p>Draven nods, tapping his fingers briefly.</p><p>Kallus waits, hoping he is dismissed before too long.</p><p>“You said you lost communication with your partners? How so?”</p><p>What an odd question to ask. Kallus shrugs with one shoulder. “I confirmed the data upload with them, then let them know I’m heading back. I attempted a check-in with them when I was close, in case there were any complications, but I wasn’t able to reach them. Just static.”</p><p>“They didn’t tell you they were detected, or that they had to bail out?” Draven pushes, looking more displeased.</p><p>Bewildered, Kallus shakes his head. “No… I had no warning that anything was amiss until I ran into Thrawn. My guess is that comms were jammed before they could warn me.”</p><p>The frown on his superior’s face only deepens. “A reasonable guess.” His fingers stop tapping, and then he sighs. “So, just to be perfectly clear, you <em>were not </em>detected on your way back to the ship, and you <em>did not</em> tell Iscariot and Brutus to leave without you?”</p><p>… oh.</p><p>It clicks for him then, why Draven is unhappy.</p><p>Kallus’s instincts were right. This mission was a trap, but not one of Thrawn’s making alone.</p><p>“No, I definitely was not detected until I reached the rendezvous point, and I did not comm to indicate as such.”</p><p>“I will have to verify that by checking comm records,” Draven warns him.</p><p>Kallus nods, understanding. “With all due respect, sir, I doubt I’m capable of making anything up right now. I assure you; I haven’t lied.” His partners clearly have, however. He releases a quiet sigh, slumping in defeat. “… go easy on them, Draven. This was… to be expected. Not everyone here believes my story like you do.”</p><p>“They could have gotten you killed,” the other man practically growls, voice tight with anger. “It doesn’t matter <em>where</em> you came from, Alex. Their actions are beyond insubordination, they sold out a fellow rebel to the Empire, that is inexcusable. If I let it pass, who’s to say more won’t try?”</p><p>A fellow rebel. Despite the circumstances, the description puts a warm feeling in his chest.</p><p>He shakes himself, staying focused on the present. “Davits,” he starts, using the man’s first name to speak to him as a friend, rather than as a subordinate. “They don’t believe I’m a rebel. Not yet. And punishing them too harshly could lead to more who think the same as they do to act out.” He frowns to himself, taking a moment to think of a better strategy.</p><p>“… let me handle it.”</p><p>Draven narrows his eyes at Kallus, clearly not liking the smile on his face. “What are you planning?”</p><p>“Just don’t tell them you know what really happened,” he says, pulling himself back to his feet. “Let them think my story matched up with theirs.”</p><p>The suspicious look doesn’t let up.</p><p>“Trust me?” Kallus asks, still smiling.</p><p>The other man sighs, annoyed. “Fine. But if it happens again, I’m dealing with it. My way.”</p><p>“Yessir,” the rebel intelligence agent agrees with a lazy salute. “Now, may I go?”</p><p>Draven waves him away. “Take a stim out of my cabinet, you look like you need it.”</p><p>He does with an appreciative hum, taking it right away and tossing the injector into the bin. “Where will I find Iscariot?”</p><p>“They should be in the barracks,” comes Draven's resigned answer.</p><p>With a quick thanks, Kallus heads out and into that direction.</p><p> </p><p>°|●.*•</p><p> </p><p>It doesn’t take him long to find the two of them. They’re together, looking pretty nervous. They must have heard about his rescue already.</p><p>Well, he better put them back at ease.</p><p>Alexsandr Kallus didn’t survive for 17 years in the lower levels of Coruscant without knowing how to earn respect.</p><p>Brutus stands up first, offering him a convincing, but fake smile. “Agent Kallus! You’re back, we heard the Ghost went after you, I’m so gl—”</p><p>Kallus cuts him off with a quick jab, hard and fast to his gut, winding him. The larger man gasps, air rushing out of his lungs too fast for him to recover it. Iscariot shrinks back in fear.</p><p><em>“Captain,</em> not Agent,” he corrects once Brutus has somewhat recovered, his tone colder than ice. His anger and the stim help him stay focused. “You two are <em>lucky</em> that I heard your banthashit story before Draven got to me. You could be <em>court-martialed</em> for what you just tried to pull.” He lets that sink in, waiting for them to understand the implication he’s leaving hanging in the air.</p><p>Iscariot gets it first. “You didn’t—you didn’t rat us out?”</p><p>Kallus scoffs, as if the mere idea insults him. “What good would it do for me to tell Draven? He’d remove you, certainly, and I’d be safer, but we’d just be taking more people off the fight against the Empire. We can’t <em>afford</em> that, do you understand?” He steps a bit closer to them, feeling a small rush of vindication when they inch backwards in fear. “The Rebellion can’t afford to toss out <em>any</em> fighters, regardless of our feelings about each other. If you don’t like me, you should have requested not to work with me, not pulled <em>this</em> kind of scheme.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Brutus says, seeming vastly relieved. Kallus hazards a guess that he wasn’t the mastermind behind this plan. “I’m s—”</p><p>The ex-imperial cuts him off with a raised hand. “I don’t want your thanks, or your apologies. I won’t accept either. Just don’t try to get the few fighters we have killed again, and stay the kriff away from me, or I <em>will</em> have you locked up. I saved the comm logs from your ship for posterity.” He didn’t, but he’s sure that Draven will be doing so, just in case.</p><p>Iscariot is still on the defensive—he’s definitely the more jaded of the two of them. “And why should we trust you? Maybe you’ve already sold us out, and you just want to keep us here before we can run.”</p><p>Kallus has half a mind to punch him. It wouldn’t help, though, and he’s nearing exhaustion again. It’s all he can do not to show it.</p><p>Instead, he takes a deep breath, releasing it slowly. “I suppose you have no way of knowing that for certain. You’ll just have to trust me, like I trusted you.” Kallus narrows his eyes pointedly. “I have my own reasons for hating the Empire, you don’t do what I did without reasons to. It’s practically suicide to betray them the way I did—you know why there aren’t many defectors like me on base? Most of them die before they can get out. I was lucky.” He pauses, letting himself be a bit more genuine. He doesn’t <em>need</em> to justify himself to them… but he hopes that if he does, they won’t try this again, and they won’t try it on anyone less skilled than himself.</p><p>“I have my reasons to want the Empire to fall, but I can’t do it alone. That’s why I’m here, helping all of you, though I know most of you hate me for things I’ve done before. The Empire is massive, they have people and resources that we simply… don’t. So, we need all the help we can get.” He pauses, letting out a short breath. “That’s why you’re getting a second chance. I know how powerful the Empire is, and I know we can’t afford to turn away anyone who truly <em>wants</em> to fight them. If the Rebellion can give me a second chance to do the right thing, I can give you one too.”</p><p>The two of them seem to relax a little at that declaration, Brutus quite a bit more than Iscariot.</p><p>After a second, he continues, a touch more lightheartedly. “Anyways, if I was an Imperial spy, you wouldn’t know I was ex-Empire. Those of us who openly defect, we are vetted too thoroughly before they let us anywhere near a base.” He spent nearly an entire year as Fulcrum first, proving his loyalty with each bit of intel he managed to transmit to them. Each day he was rolling chance cubes with his life in the betting pool. “The <em>real</em> Imperial spies get new identities, tragic backstories, and they blend in like any one of you. They don’t stand out, they don’t draw attention, you’d never know who they are.”</p><p>Kallus pauses again, noting their reactions. He seems to be getting through to them… he thinks. “When I defected, I sent the Rebellion a list of all the current undercover Imperial operatives in the field’s mugshots. I’ve been working to help weed them out gradually, without the Empire realizing we know who they all are.” And they’ve been feeding misinformation to the ones that are left, in an attempt to convince the Empire that their spy programs are ineffective. If it doesn’t produce enough results… they’ll terminate it. That’s their best bet at getting rid of them all.</p><p>After a moment, Iscariot nods. “… that… makes sense.”</p><p>Brutus agrees, looking far more convinced. Good.</p><p>Kallus gives them a stiff nod. “It’s the truth. Now, best of luck to you two, I won’t be working with either of you again.”</p><p>“That’s fair,” Brutus says, sounding a bit regretful.</p><p>Rather than respond, Kallus just turns, leaving them to their own devices.</p><p> </p><p>°|●.*•</p><p> </p><p>Rather than returning to his cot in the barracks, Kallus decides to walk the extra distance back to the Ghost. After finding out what Brutus and Iscariot did… he (understandably) doesn’t really feel safe going back to his public sleeping arrangements.</p><p>Anyways, he left his meteorite there, and he needs to at least go and pick it up, even if he isn’t allowed to stay.</p><p>Kanan and Ezra are working just outside the ship when he arrives. The younger of the two Jedi has a helmet with the blast visor down, blinding him. There’s a small training drone floating around, taking shots at both of them with sting-bolts. Kanan is doing a better job of dodging and deflecting than his student is, but to the untrained eye, they’d seem about evenly matched.</p><p>When he enters their vicinity, Kanan darts a hand out, grabbing the small orb and pressing the off switch to disable it.</p><p>“Huh? We’re done already--?”</p><p>Ezra cuts off as he pulls his helmet off and sees Kallus approaching. “Oh, hey Kallus!”</p><p>“Hello,” he greets the two of them, waving a little to Bridger.</p><p>“How did the debriefing go?” Kanan ask him amiably, dismantling and clipping his saber back to his belt. “You seem worn out.”</p><p>Kallus has learned not to ask how he knows that sort of thing. The Jedi has assured him that he is <em>not</em> reading his mind or anything, just that he can sense the general aura and wellbeing of those around him through the force. “I’m fine,” he sighs, rubbing his eye with the heel of his hand. “As for the briefing… well, Draven is Draven, so, you know.” He honestly can’t recall the finer details of that conversation anymore; his recent memories seem… dim. Darkened and slippery, likely a result of the drug he was injected with. Hopefully the med-droid can figure out what it was, and they can start carrying an antidote for it on rescue missions.</p><p>“I’m just tired,” he admits, stifling yet another jaw-cracking yawn. “Would one of you let Zeb know I am commandeering his bunk for the night? I’d tell him myself, but I seem to have misplaced my comlink.” A wry smile makes its way to his face—it was taken from him when he was captured, but he doesn’t need to outright explain that to either of them.</p><p>“Sure,” Ezra agrees quickly, with a wide smirk. Kanan moves to cover the kid’s mouth, but Bridger is too quick to duck away from him. “Anything else I should tell your boyfriend?”</p><p>Kallus only half-registers that, and waves the younger Jedi off. “No, but thank you for—” he stops, the last part finally catching up to him. “Zeb is <em>not</em> my boyfriend.”</p><p><em>Yet</em>, he thinks with a sad ache in his chest.</p><p>“<em>Ezra</em>,” Jarrus says in a low, warning tone.</p><p>His padawan takes no heed. “Please, why bother pretending? We all heard you say you <em>love</em> him. The internal comms were still on, your secret’s out, lover boy.”</p><p>… <em>what</em>?</p><p>The confusion must show plainly on his face because Ezra starts to look a little uncertain. “Uh, you do remember saying that, don’t you?”</p><p>In a daze, Kallus shakes his head. His mind is marginally clearer now, thanks to the healing stim, and…</p><p>… well, fear of rejection and embarrassment starts to gnaw at him. Did Zeb say it back? Did Zeb reject him? What has he done?</p><p>Why did he tell his best—his <em>only</em>—friend about his… complicated, messy feelings for him? Why couldn’t he just… keep his mouth shut about that one thing?</p><p>What if Zeb feels uncomfortable around him now… now that he knows how Kallus feels? What if he doesn’t feel the same? Will he not want to spar anymore? Will he not want to talk to him, or share meals, or… or…</p><p>What if he doesn’t want Kallus sharing his bed? Or to even <em>see </em>him anymore?</p><p>“Kallus,” Kanan’s voice pulls him from his thoughts, grounding him slightly. “It’s fine, don’t worry.” The older jedi cuffs his padawan on the back of the head. “Everything is alright, you need to rest; you should go catch some sleep. Zeb’s bed is free for you to use.”</p><p>There is something deeply soothing about his voice—almost melodic, like a song. He’s right, Kallus shouldn’t worry.</p><p>If Zeb didn’t want to spend time anymore, he’d have told the others to send him away. Probably. It’s fine.</p><p>“You’re right,” he agrees quietly, feeling calmer. “Nothing to worry about. I need to rest, I’ll go catch some sleep. Thank you.” And with that, he promptly heads up the ramp of the ship and into Zeb’s room, laying himself down on the bottom bunk.</p><p>He’s so single-minded in doing so, that he doesn’t hear Ezra’s exclamation of “Did you just <em>mind-trick</em> Kallus?!”</p><p>And he definitely doesn’t hear Kanan’s sage response of “It was simply the will of the force, my padawan. And… I didn’t want to carry him if he passed out from the stress.”</p><p>Ezra snickers, but it cuts off quickly, his voice lower, more serious. “Uh, do you think we should tell Zeb that he doesn’t… remember?”</p><p>“That might be best,” his Master answers, tone equally low and tired. “Back to your training, padawan.”</p><p>Kallus misses that exchange entirely, dropping onto the bed and falling unconscious as soon as his head hits the pillow.</p><p> </p><p>°|●.*•</p><p> </p><p>When he wakes up, it’s in stages.</p><p>First, he feels warm. It’s such a good feeling, after over a day in a cold, sterile interrogation room, completely isolated. The warmth now surrounds him, making him feel comforted, and safe.</p><p>Next, he registers the softness of the pillow and mattress he’s lying on—so much more welcoming and comfortable than the icy, ungiving durasteel of his interrogation table. There’s the softness of a body against him as well, and the tickle of fur against his skin. The other person is half on top of him, heavy with dense muscle yet still soft. Rather than restricting, the weight just feels comforting, soothing.</p><p>Sight and sound come to him last, as he slowly blinks himself to awareness. He can hear the slow, even breathing of his bead partner; his vision fills with an expanse of purple skin and fur.</p><p>“Zeb?” he asks quietly, his voice crackling dryly from sleep.</p><p>When there’s no immediate response, Kallus attempts to move a little and sit up, but is prevented from doing so when the arm wrapped around him holds him in closer.</p><p>“Garazeb,” he groans, huffing softly as he’s snuggled. Once, he panicked upon waking to the sight of a Lasat; but now he feels nothing but relaxed around Zeb. No one makes him feel safer—he trusts him like no other. Zeb is the one and only person he feels comfortable being vulnerable around: he’s the one Kallus gravitates towards when he feels ill or injured. He’s the one Kallus goes to when he has nightmares or when he just needs to see a friendly face.</p><p>In truth, he doesn’t sleep half as well away from him as he does with him, though the latter is a rare occurrence. He can count the number of times they’ve shared a bed on one hand (Bahryn included), which in his opinion is a tragedy.</p><p>But there’s a reason they don’t sleep together often. They aren’t…</p><p>Zeb doesn’t…</p><p>Kallus sighs internally, making another attempt to wriggle his way out of Zeb’s arms. He’s feeling a bit better now, he should go back to his own sleeping quarters, or perhaps the medbay, if he wants to indulge his paranoia.</p><p>This time, Zeb’s breathing shifts, and that arm just tightens around him even more. “WhereDoYaThinkYerGoin,” the Lasat slurs, still half-asleep.</p><p>Kallus huffs in something like amusement or exasperation. He doesn’t want his friend to think he’s just leaving for the sake of leaving, so he lies. “I’m not tired anymore,” the ex-imperial tells him, having to almost hold himself back physically from reaching up to rub the sleepily twitching ears on top of his friend’s head. “I’m going to go write up my report.”</p><p>He’s betrayed by a yawn at the end of his claim.</p><p>Zeb doesn’t buy it, peering at him through half-lidded, skeptical green eyes. “Yeh barely slept, ‘s only been a few hours. Report can wait, go back to sleep, Kal.”</p><p>Eurgh. So much for that excuse.</p><p>He frowns to himself, insecurity clawing at his insides. “… I can… go back to my cot now if you’d like. I feel more sober.”</p><p>Again, those bright—nearly glowing in the dark—green eyes quietly examine him. Zeb seems more alert now, though his expression hasn’t changed much at all.</p><p>Kallus gets the unnerving sense that Zeb is looking directly through him, seeing right past his carefully constructed defenses and reading his soul like it’s an open book.</p><p>“Do <em>you</em> want to?”</p><p>The question catches Kallus off guard. He doesn’t fully understand it, still not fully recovered from his ordeal. He’s disoriented enough by the look in Zeb’s eyes that he doesn’t connect the question to his earlier statement. “… er, what?”</p><p>Those eyes soften the tiniest fraction with fond amusement. “Do you want to go back to yer own cot, Kal? I can walk yeh there if ya really do.”</p><p>“Oh—” He feels quite silly once he understands the question. “No, I—I just don’t want to inconvenience you— I can—”  </p><p>His friend shakes his head before he finishes. “Yeh ain’t an inconvenience, Alex. I like having you here. You can stay if yer gonna go back to sleep.”</p><p>Kallus does his damndest to keep the lovestruck look off his face when Zeb says he likes having him here. <em>Don’t make it weird, Alexsandr.</em></p><p>They both suffer from nightmares, this is just… mutually beneficial.</p><p>That’s all.</p><p>He can’t afford to let himself hope it’s anything more. Zeb can’t possibly feel the same way about him, not after all he’s done… all he can hope for is friendship, brotherhood, tolerance.</p><p>After a second of internally warring with himself, Kallus allows himself to relax once more on the bed. He… really doesn’t have the energy to argue this any further. If Zeb says he can stay, then he’ll stay. He <em>wants</em> to stay.</p><p>“Alright,” the ex-ISB Agent murmurs, settling himself more comfortably underneath his alien friend. “So long as you’re alright with me staying.”</p><p>The Lasat smiles, adjusting them so they fit a little better together (and so Kallus’s face ends up pressed snug against his friend’s fur-covered chest). “It’s more ‘n alright. Night, Kal.”</p><p>“Sweet dreams, Garazeb,” Kallus wishes him in return, finding it easy to let himself drift off to sleep once again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Me: [writes a fic with the sole purpose of giving Kallus his bo-rifle and meteorite back]</p><p>Also me: DRAMAAAAAAA (and cuddles!)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. ></h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The final part! whoo!!<br/>(Did I instantly copy/paste this to Ao3 and save it as a draft to make double-triple sure I don't lose it again? yes. Did I do all my editing in Ao3? Also yes.)</p><p>[content warning] for another brief reference to gory memories, though they aren't explicit.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Kallus wakes up, it’s all at once.</p><p>He jolts to awareness with an involuntary spasm, his body jerking upright before he can really register his surroundings. He’s drenched in sweat, chilly from it.</p><p>The sudden movement rips him away from Zeb’s hold. He moves too fast, doesn’t see the underside of the top bunk until his forehead has already hit it.</p><p>There’s a loud <em>thunk</em> and a sudden pain, both of which further disorient him.</p><p>A hiss and whimper of pain that might be him, or might be someone else, he isn’t sure. There’s a corner behind him, and he shrinks back against it, needing the security of the small space.</p><p>“Kal<em>—Kallus!”</em></p><p>His vision swims momentarily. He tries to focus on the source of the voice, but it’s confusing. Because that looks like Zeb, but he’s out of focus, and he’s—</p><p>--he’s dead, isn’t he? A second ago, those same eyes were looking lifelessly up at him, betrayal frozen on his features, wet blood staining his fur a deep, dark purple.</p><p>Kallus blinks, unable to make sense of his surroundings, nightmare images flashing underneath his eyelids each time he closes them.</p><p>Zeb doesn’t come closer, doesn’t touch him—of course he doesn’t—<em>you killed him, you killed himyou<strong>killed</strong>himyou—</em></p><p><em>“Kal,”</em> his friend’s voice calls to him again, urgent and almost pleading. He tries to listen. “Hey, just, focus on me. Look at me. It was just a nightmare. You hit your head pretty bad… can I take a look?”</p><p>The initial panic loosens its grip on him a little, Zeb’s voice like an anchor in a storm. He can trust Zeb, he can always trust Zeb…</p><p>If Zeb says it was a nightmare, he believes him. Zeb helps him find the truth, he doesn’t… he doesn’t lie.</p><p>“Yes,” he croaks out, pulling his head up from where he tucked it into his arms, resting on his knees. His forehead throbs with pain, making him want to close his eyes to stop the room from spinning. But there are only nightmares behind his eyelids, so he keeps them open.</p><p>The Lasat approaches him slowly, making sure he can see where his large paws are going before he touches him. One goes to rest a comforting weight on his upper arm, the other goes to gently touch the side of his face. When he makes contact, he stops.</p><p>“Is this okay?”</p><p>It takes all of Kallus’s willpower to not turn his face into Zeb’s palm and cry. The warmth of the contact seeps into his skin, the gentleness of it soothes him. “Yes,” he answers again, because other words escape him.</p><p>His friend gives him an encouraging smile, moving in a bit closer before gently prodding at his forehead with the pad of his thumb.</p><p>A sharp intake of breath reveals Kallus’s pain at the touch, and Zeb removes the hand from his face as soon as he flinches. He instantly misses the warmth.</p><p>“You knocked it pretty bad,” The Lasat observes sympathetically. “I can get yeh a cold pack. Wanna stay here for a sec?”</p><p>Before he can properly stop himself, Kallus reaches for Zeb’s forearm and grips the fur there tightly. “No, I—” He winces at the sound of his own voice. “Please— I don’t want to— can I—?”</p><p>He fails to form a coherent sentence, but Zeb manages to understand him anyways. “Think you can walk?”</p><p>His grip on Zeb’s fur releases in his relief. He doesn’t want to be left alone. Rather than try to answer, he just nods.</p><p>The Lasat pulls back then, getting out of the bottom bunk, then helping to pull him out of it as well. Kallus needs a little help getting his balance, but once he’s on his feet, he doesn’t need any further assistance, able to just silently follow his friend into the storage area of the Ghost.</p><p>He stays close to Zeb, finding his proximity comforting. As long as he can see and feel that Zeb is here, he’s warm, he’s <em>alive</em>… it helps the awful nightmare fade from his overtaxed mind.</p><p>Normally, his nightmares aren’t this debilitating… but his mind is still vulnerable and exhausted in the wake of the drugs Thrawn gave him. The nightmare seemed so much more real, so much more vivid. And pair that with all his aching injuries, and the fresh welt on his forehead… to put it lightly, he’s not feeling so hot.</p><p>For how real it felt, his bad dream made even less sense than usual. In this one, Thrawn had gotten his wish, made Kallus into his protégé. Kallus unwillingly carried out his orders, a passenger in his own body as he commanded fleets, shot down rebels, burned cities.</p><p>Then, came the Ghost, as it inevitably always does.</p><p>The scene became Coruscant, the skies burning under the heat of warfare.</p><p>The Stormtroopers became clones, ruthlessly efficient and at his command.</p><p>The Ghost was shot down, crashing to the planet below.</p><p>Then he was 17 again, opening his eyes to see his ruined home. Only now he’s standing in it, unharmed, not trapped under the duracrete.</p><p>He turns around, and the scene is exactly as he remembers. His brother, his mothers, all dead or dying around him.</p><p>Alex keeps turning, and… now there’s Zeb, lying broken at his feet, run through by his own bo-rifle, pain and betrayal etched into his final expression.</p><p>For the second time that morning, Kallus rushes to open his eyes, taking a shuddering breath.</p><p>Zeb gives him a concerned look, holding up the cold pack he found. “… You gonna be okay, Kal?”</p><p>Kallus takes a second to be grateful the Zeb doesn’t ask him if he <em>is</em> okay, so he doesn’t have to lie. He takes the cold pack, gingerly pressing it to his own forehead. “I will be,” he answers quietly. “Can we go outside?”</p><p>His voice is steadier now, the initial panic subsiding as it sinks in that it was only a dream, it wasn’t real.</p><p>“Yeah,” The Lasat answers, not hesitating to lead him back out of the ship. He doesn’t ask why, and Kallus is grateful for that, too.</p><p>He must know that the fresh air just… helps, sometimes.</p><p>Kallus lets himself be lead down the ramp, his eyes fixing on the horizon as they get out into the open. He just stands there for a moment, barefoot on the Ghost’s entry ramp, still wearing only stormtrooper blacks, as he never took a chance to get changed. The morning chill helps to clear his head some, and the fresh air calms his nerves, takes him away from the recycled air and unnaturally metallic scent of spaceships from his nightmare.</p><p>Zeb’s hand on his shoulder pulls him away from his thoughts again. “Want a better view of the sunrise?”</p><p>It’s almost dawn—it’s still a novelty for him to witness such an event, so used to falling asleep and waking up inside a Star Destroyer or a Dome, rarely ever planetside, or not too busy to go outside before the sun is already high in the sky.</p><p>“Please,” he agrees, tearing his eyes away from the faint blue of Yavin IV’s horizon to face his friend.</p><p>Even after giving his permission, he isn’t quite ready for when his friend picks him up, then lifts him up onto the hull of the cargo ship. Kallus quickly catches on however, using his free hand to help himself get up on top of the ship, and then offering his hand to Zeb to help him get up there too.</p><p>The Lasat takes it, smiling as he climbs his way up with Kallus’s help.</p><p>Then, they’re sitting on the hull, with an unobstructed view of the planet’s horizon.</p><p>In the growing, pale light, Kallus thinks he can pick out smaller temples and ruins amongst the forest surrounding their base. He hardly registers it when Zeb puts an arm around him, just leaning into the offered warmth as he lets himself focus on the sunrise and the landscape in front of them.</p><p>When the sun is fully above the horizon, Kallus feels a lot more settled. His head feels better too, and he sets the cold pack aside for the time being, then focuses on his friend. “Thank you,” he says, not sure what else he <em>can</em> say without making a fool out of himself.</p><p>Zeb smiles back at him, a soft purring sound building in his chest. “Anytime. Feeling better?”</p><p>“Very much so,” Kallus answers, relaxing further at the rumbling sound.</p><p>“Do you wanna talk about it?” Zeb asks, his tone more cautious. The purring fades.</p><p>Kallus shakes his head in the negative. “It was just a nightmare… likely an aftereffect of the truth serum.” It isn’t a total lie; he definitely thinks the vividness of the dream had something to do with the drugs still lingering in his system.</p><p>Zeb grunts in response, frowning a little before looking away. He seems to be holding his tongue, wanting to say something but not sure if he should.</p><p>After a moment, he lets it go, looking back at Kallus with an unreadable look. “… about the serum… do you remember anything?”</p><p>Kallus’s knee-jerk reaction is to tell him no, he remembers nothing. He doesn’t, really… but he also hasn’t tried very hard.</p><p>Zeb wouldn’t be asking without a reason, and he just helped Kallus more than he could ever dare ask for… so he closes his eyes, doing his best to remember.</p><p>There are large, blank gaps in his memory. What he does remember is mostly useless. Flashes of humming his song on Thrawn’s interrogation table, a proud moment admiring his handiwork with the support strut graffiti, several flashes where all he remembers is Zeb’s fur, taking up all his senses.</p><p>His gut clenches as he tries to examine that closer, wondering what it could have meant that he spent so much time with his face pressed to Zeb’s fur.</p><p>He knows…</p><p>Oh gods, he really hopes he’s wrong…</p><p>His ISB trainers had him work a lot on his truth serum resistance training… he was always told that he became too… ‘friendly’… when under its influence.</p><p>He dearly, <em>dearly</em> hopes that he didn’t proposition Zeb while he was drugged, or worse, try to force himself on his friend.</p><p>The mere idea of it makes him want to bury his head between his legs and never get up ever again.</p><p>No, if that happened, surely Zeb wouldn’t be so… so calm with him right now. There <em>has</em> to be something else…</p><p>He hopes.</p><p>He wracks his memory for something, anything useful. The blank spots aren’t so bad in his more recent memories. He vaguely remembers his debrief with Draven, and his talk with his mission partners, and then…</p><p>Ezra and Kanan. Ezra said…</p><p>Oh.</p><p>Gods, he’s an idiot. He really <em>has</em> karked this all up, hasn’t he?</p><p>“Did I…” he stops himself, steeling his nerves before he continues. He can’t bring himself to look up at Zeb. “… Did I really tell you I love you?”</p><p>A small breath leaves his friend, and he can’t tell the emotion behind it from sound alone. He takes comfort in the fact that Zeb doesn’t remove his arm from around his shoulders.</p><p>There’s a silence between them. It eats at Kallus, the suspense of waiting for Zeb’s response making him feel ill, nauseous. All he has is Bridger’s teasing comment… he doesn’t remember the actual moment, he doesn’t know how Zeb responded, doesn’t know if he said it back.</p><p>It’s only a few moments, but it feels like an eternity before Zeb finally speaks. When he does, his voice is quieter than Kallus is used to, and achingly gentle.</p><p>“… Did you mean it?”</p><p>What a loaded question that is.</p><p>Kallus sees the out for what it is. He can so easily write it off, tell Zeb he gets overdramatic on anti-inhibitors, that he just meant he loves him like a brother, loves him like a best friend should.</p><p>But it’s a double-edged sword. Zeb could have asked it any other way, but asking it like this… <em>‘did you mean it?’</em> It means if Kallus tells him no… he runs the risk of pushing Zeb away if his feelings <em>are</em> returned.</p><p>He wishes he remembered what Zeb said before… he wishes he had any sort of clue as to what Zeb <em>wants</em> him to say.</p><p>A large part of him just wants to cry. He wants to just give in to the stress, bury his head between his knees, and cry until everything makes sense again. He wants Zeb to tell him what the right answer is, he just wants things to go back to normal, or—or he wants Zeb to say it to him first, so he can stop being so, so <em>afraid</em>.</p><p>Most of all, he wants to strangle Thrawn for putting him through all of this.</p><p>Kallus does none of that. He takes a deep, calming breath, ignoring the way his chest shudders on the inhale.</p><p>He was the best and brightest of the Imperial Security Bureau. Yularen’s star pupil. He can look up at Zeb, and he can read him, he can figure out what the Lasat wants him to say.</p><p>He just… has to muster the courage to face him.</p><p>Kallus exhales, then turns his head and looks up at his friend.</p><p>Zeb’s expression is unreadable. He’s always been good at hiding his feelings… but his face isn’t the right place to look, anyways. Kallus focuses on his ears, the one part of Zeb that always, unfailingly gives him away.</p><p>If he were disgusted, or angry, or unhappy, those ears would be folded back, low to his skull.</p><p>They aren’t. They’re perked up, alert, twitching with interest. They tell Kallus that he’s eager, he’s waiting, he’s anticipating something he wants.</p><p>He could still be wrong, but…</p><p>Well, Kallus has taken greater risks on Zeb’s account.</p><p>“Yes,” he says before he can overthink it. “I meant it. I—mmph—”</p><p>Kallus is cut off from any further explanation by Zeb’s lips pressing against his own.</p><p>His head spins—or maybe it’s the world that does, because next thing he knows, he’s on his back and Zeb is on top of him, still kissing him while he pins the human against the hull of the ship. Kallus doesn’t fight it, just doing his best to keep up, to kiss Zeb back, to match his friend’s —(boyfriend’s?) —enthusiasm with his own.</p><p>Zeb’s eyes are bright when he pulls away, and Kallus is breathless, panting softly as he looks up at the Lasat pinning him down. “Garazeb—”</p><p>His vision is filled with Zeb’s grinning, bright-eyed face. There are few sights in the galaxy that Kallus would consider more stunning. Two large and clawed hands come up on either side of his face.</p><p>“Kal,” Zeb says, still grinning. “Yer the biggest idiot I know. We coulda been kissing for <em>months</em>.”</p><p>“Months?” Kallus echoes weakly. Zeb shared his feelings for that long? “When…?”</p><p>Once again, Zeb seems to understand his question without him needing to finish wording it. “Kal, I’ve had it bad for ya since I heard you saved Sabine, Wedge, an’ Hobbie.” His claws run idly through Kallus’ long hair. “When I heard what ya did… I realized you did have honor. You did earn that bo-rifle. Even if yeh stayed an Imp, you’d earned my respect.” The pads of his thumbs run through Kallus’s mutton chops then, and his smile turns roguish. “Plus, yer pretty attractive by Lasat standards… for a human.”</p><p>Kallus is struck a little speechless, which is fine, because Zeb isn’t done yet. “I told myself that if we ever hadta fight each other again, I’d pick ya right up and take ya with me.” But they didn’t, not before he told Kanan, Ezra, and Chopper that he’s Fulcrum. What a way to muck up Zeb’s plans…</p><p>Kallus would smile if they hadn’t wasted so much time.</p><p>“Since Bahryn,” He admits abruptly, “for me. I… No one had ever… talked—or listened to me the way you did… before then. When we crashed and my leg broke… I expected to die. You had every right to… but… instead you were kind. No one has been kind like that to me since…”</p><p>He shakes his head, not wanting to bring up his family now.</p><p>Zeb seems to understand him anyways. Kallus wonders what else he told him while he was drugged.</p><p>The Lasat just presses their foreheads together in a tender, comforting move. The slight discomfort from his forming bruise doesn’t diminish the soothing effect it has on him. “It’s okay, Kal…” Zeb reassures him. “You’re here now, an’ we won’t do what the Empire did to yeh.”</p><p>“I know,” Kallus responds easily, the knot tangled in his chest coming loose. He hugs his arms around Zeb’s neck, breathing in his strong scent and taking comfort in his presence. “I know I’m safe with you, I know I can trust you, I… I love you, Garazeb. If you’d picked me up and dragged me away, I’d have gone with you, no questions asked.”</p><p>“I love you too,” Zeb returns, as easy as breathing.</p><p>Then his lips are on Kallus’s again, and Kallus stops bothering with trying to think. He melts into it, parting his lips for his fr-- <em>boyfriend</em> as soon as he’s prompted to do so.</p><p>Zeb’s tongue pulls a moan from him, and then he’s pulling away, laughter on his lips. “… If you’re gonna make noises like that, Kal, we’re gonna have to continue this later, somewhere more private.”</p><p>Kallus can feel the blush heating his face—he must seem a mess, still catching his breath. Did Zeb just-?</p><p>Oh dear, this is fast.</p><p>Kallus nods, not totally trusting his voice. “Y-yes, that’s, er. Good idea. Later.”</p><p>The Lasat chuckles, giving his cheek an affectionate nuzzle with the thick fur on the side of his face. Then, he rolls to the side, one arm propping himself up, and the other wrapped around Kallus’s shoulders to keep him held close. No longer pinned underneath his boyfriend, Kallus has a chance to prop himself up a bit too.</p><p>“I have somethin’ for ya.”</p><p>Zeb nudges him, prompting Kallus to look his way as the Lasat fishes something out of the pocket of his sleep pants. “Was gonna wait, but now’s a good time.”</p><p>The object he pulls out of his pocket is a small chunk of mineral, wrapped in a web of intricately knotted leather cord, which extends into a long loop. It’s a necklace, and the rock is the pendant.</p><p>Zeb puts it in his hand, and as soon as he feels the pendant, and the faint warmth radiating off of it, the soft glow under his fingers, he recognizes it.</p><p>A matching one leaves the Lasat’s pocket next, this necklace with a slightly larger chunk and a longer cord.</p><p>“You made this?” Kallus asks, staring at the pendant in quiet awe. “Zeb, it’s…”</p><p>“Silly, I know…”</p><p>“No—” Kallus interrupts him, turning his head to meet his eyes. “It’s perfect. I love it.”</p><p>And to prove it, he pulls the necklace on, leaving the warm chunk of meteorite standing out on top of his stolen uniform blacks. It contrasts quite obviously like this, but it’ll fit right in with his usual on-base clothes.</p><p>Now it’s Zeb’s turn to look a bit dumbstruck, his eyes fixated on Kallus like he’s the center of the Galaxy.</p><p>“Let me put yours on for you,” Kallus requests, then gently takes the necklace from Zeb’s hands, and carefully loops the cord over his neck, leaving the pendant resting on his bare chest. He stares in awe for a moment, wanting to ask how, and when Zeb made these, but not sure what words to use.</p><p>Thankfully, Zeb is the type to brag, so he explains without Kallus’s prompting. “The meteorite kinda… got dropped while I was carrying yeh to the medbay. Half of it is fine; it’ll still make a good night-light. But… parts of it cracked off, and I… didn’t want it to just be broken whenever you came back for it.” He rolls his pendant between his fingers. “I didn’t really go off to move supply crates,” he adds, though Kallus already guessed as much. “Sabine’s good with art ‘n all, so I asked if she had a way to fix it, an’ she came up with a better idea. So… I made these out of the biggest chunks. The knots I used are the same kind the Honor Guard uses to wrap our bo-rifles.” Kallus recalls seeing similar knots on the fabric that wraps Zeb’s bo-rifle, holding part of it together.</p><p>Zeb smiles softly at him, running a hand through his hair. “If the knots are tied well, and you fight with honor, they’ll never come undone. If not… if the Ashla doesn’t favor us, then the knots will fall apart and we lose our bo-rifles,” he looks down at Kallus’s chest, “or our stones. As long as those knots stay tight… the Ashla is smiling on us.”</p><p>Kallus may not understand Zeb’s Ashla… but he doesn’t need to. He can accept something without totally understanding it. Zeb believes in it, and that’s enough for him to go along.</p><p>“I will do my best to honor this,” Kallus vows, closing his hand around his own pendant. “These knots won’t come loose.”</p><p>The promise puts a gentle look on Zeb’s face. His boyfriend presses a quick, chaste kiss to his lips before returning to where he was laying. “I know they won’t,” he says, not a trace of doubt in his voice. “Wouldn’t give them to ya otherwise.”</p><p>Something in the tone of Zeb’s voice gives Kallus pause. He leans his head against the Lasat’s shoulder, trying to figure out what it could be.</p><p>“Er, Zeb…” he starts, frowning a little. “Not that I’d be entirely opposed, but these knots… they aren’t like a… Lasan Marriage proposal or something, are they? I’m not… well-versed in your traditions. Am I expected to do something in return?”</p><p>His question makes Zeb chuckle, and the alien shakes his head, bemused. “Nah, nothing like that. Though, good to know that you’re open to a Lasan wedding.”</p><p>“Better than an Imperial one,” Kallus retorts easily, making both of them laugh warmly.</p><p>“Definitely,” Zeb agrees, once they both quiet down. “Anyways, these knots… they’re only given to the Honor Guard of Lasan. Giving them to you… I’m sorta inducting you as my battle-brother: <em>Boosan</em> <em>Keeade</em>. Means I consider you an equal, so if the Honor Guard still existed, you’d be a captain now, like me.” He lays down fully, turning his gaze upwards to the brightening, cloudless sky. “Doesn’t really mean anything now, but you protected my family, and you recovered your bo-rifle. So, you earned it, either way.”</p><p>“It means something to you,” Kallus protests softly, laying down in the crook of his arm. “So it’s important to me, too. I’m honored, Zeb. Thank you.”</p><p>They stay like that for a moment, watching as the stars fade from the morning sky.</p><p>“You have a lot of nightmares?” Zeb eventually asks, treading lightly on this change of subject.</p><p>After all this, Kallus doesn’t have the heart to lie to him. “Yes,” he admits. “They aren’t usually as bad as the one that woke me up this morning, though. I’ve never had a panic attack like that… at least, not that I couldn’t manage on my own.”</p><p>Zeb frowns at him, but thankfully doesn’t press that subject. “… dunno about you, but I sleep better when I’ve got company.”</p><p>“I can sympathize,” Kallus tells him cautiously. He thinks he can guess where this is going, but Zeb is being… weirdly cagey.</p><p>Nonetheless, his answer puts a smile back on Zeb’s face. “So, would you wanna move into my room on the Ghost with me, then?”</p><p>Kallus blinks. “Er, but then where would I sleep while you’re away on missions?”</p><p>“You’d come with us,” Zeb answers, like it’s obvious, and Kallus is being slow. “As part of the Spectres.”</p><p>He frowns at his boyfriend. “… I’m not on Spectre Squad. I’m an intelligence agent.”</p><p>“So?” Zeb sits up, crossing his arms. “We’ll get you transferred. I’ll just tell Hera you wanna move in.”</p><p>“Zeb, <em>no,</em>” Kallus sighs, sitting up as well. “The Rebellion needs me where I am. And anyways, now’s probably the worst time for me to switch assignments.”</p><p>“Why?” Zeb asks, sounding indignant.</p><p>Oh boy. “Don’t overreact,” he starts, trying to think of a way to phrase this that won’t send Zeb running to track down Brutus and Iscariot to squish their heads. Zeb narrows his eyes at the warning, and Kallus cuts to the chase. “So, my capture on the last mission wasn’t an accident. My mission partners let Thrawn know I was there—” He cuts off, grabbing Zeb’s arm and yanking him back down as he tries to stand up. “I said <em>don’t</em> overreact!”</p><p>“Overreact?!” Zeb asks thunderously, only held down by Kallus’s grip. “You coulda died! Or—or been mind wiped, or worse! Are they locked up? If they aren’t, I swear I’m gonna go bash their sorry skulls in!”</p><p>There is something deeply comforting about the knowledge that Zeb would, in fact, kill people if his safety was at risk, and Kallus does not care to further examine that thought at all.</p><p>“<em>Zeb,” </em>he hisses, forcing the Lasat to sit, and then dropping onto his lap to pin him there with his own weight. “Voice, <em>down</em>. I know, okay? And no, they aren’t locked up. Draven wanted to have them Court-Martialed, but I asked him to let me handle it.” His boyfriend gives him a glowering look at that, and he pushes on with his explanation. “We knew people here were going to dislike me. I knew my loyalty was going to be questioned. I knew there were going to be death threats and assassination attempts. I knew <em>all</em> of that when I was recruited as Fulcrum. I signed up for <em>this</em>.” <em>For you</em>, he leaves unsaid.</p><p>He keeps his tone calm, and even. “This was an organized attack on me. Someone made sure that I would be on a mission where I’d go out on solo recon, with two people who don’t trust me. That doesn’t happen by accident, Draven is too paranoid about this shit. If we don’t handle it carefully, the problem could just get worse.” He heaves out a tired sigh, holding onto Zeb’s shoulders. “I don’t know who else is involved, so my best bet is to convince them I really am on their side, so it <em>stops</em>. I talked to Brutus and Iscariot, but my whole plan falls through if they think anyone but me knows the truth about what they did. Draven knows, but I told them I covered for them with him, and he’s playing along. You have to play along too, okay?”</p><p>Zeb’s frown deepens. “I hate this plan.”</p><p>Kallus gives his boyfriend a fond smile, petting through the short fur on his shoulders. “You’re allowed to. Just, trust me, okay?” When Zeb softens a little, Kallus leans in to press a quick kiss to his lips. “Thank you. And thank you for letting me share your bed last night… I didn’t want to go back to the barracks, just in case someone tried to finish the job.”</p><p>A short growl leaves Zeb’s throat. The Lasat’s arms wind close around his waist, holding him protectively. “I won’t go crush their heads. Yet. But if either one of those womprats lays a kriffin’ finger on you…” He growls again, clearly frustrated that he can’t just go fight them now.</p><p>Kallus soothes him with another quick kiss, this time to his cheek. “I already warned them that they won’t get a third chance, Garazeb,” he smiles, “So feel free to snap them in half if they try something else. I don’t think they will, though.”</p><p>Zeb makes an uneasy sound. He obviously wants to trust Kallus’s judgement, but at the same time, he knows his human can be deceptively reckless. After all, Kallus would have to have a remarkably low sense of self-preservation to play Rebel Spy under Grand Admiral Thrawn’s nose.</p><p>“I still think yeh should join us. It wouldn’t seem strange; you’ve always been close to our crew.” Zeb leans forward to nuzzle his thicker-furred cheeks against Kallus’s mutton chops, an action which is strangely reassuring, despite the foreign-ness of it. “And we could really use you out there, Kal. Sabine is ex-empire too, but her knowledge is getting outta date. You don’t just know protocols, you know schematics, blueprints, base layouts… Ezra told us he wouldn’t have gotten you to us even half as fast if you didn’t tell him how to get from Thrawn’s office to the hangar bay.”</p><p>Kallus doesn’t really remember it, but knowing Ezra, that doesn’t seem like much of a surprise. He groans, dropping his head onto Zeb’s shoulder. “Stop buttering me up, Garazeb Orellios.”</p><p>The Lasat in question huffs warmly. “You’ve got a place on our team, Kal. You in or not?”</p><p>Well, when he puts it like that…</p><p>The ex-imperial sighs, moving off of Zeb’s lap and flopping back down to stare at the sky. “Fine! But you have to get Hera to agree first, Zeb.”</p><p>His boyfriend looms over him, about to retort, when a third voice interrupts them.</p><p>“Get me to agree to what?!”</p><p>Both of them whip around, bumping heads in their haste to see who spoke.</p><p>Kallus rubs the back of his head as he peeks over the edge of the Ghost, seeing Hera and Kanan standing on the Exit ramp, looking up at them. Hera has her hands on her hips, looking amused.</p><p>“Er,” Kallus greets them awkwardly. “Good morning, Hera, Kanan. How long have you been there?”</p><p>“We just got here,” Kanan answers, stretching his arms over his head with a yawn. “Good timing, I guess.”</p><p>Zeb grins, standing up and pulling Kallus to his feet too, with no prior warning. “Very good timing! I was just asking Kal here to join our squad, an’ move into the Ghost with us. Is that alright, Hera?”</p><p>The pilot purses her lips, considering it. After a second, she turns to Kanan, asking him something in a tone too quiet for either of them to hear.</p><p>Whatever the question is, it makes Kanan blush.</p><p>He hesitates for a second, and then nods, once again exuding stoic Master Jedi energy.</p><p>Hera turns back to them, then, smiling up at the pair. “Yeah! Sounds good to me! Kanan will move into my room, you two can share his old one.” She pauses, grinning widely. “You two have to tell Draven I’m stealing his best agent though; I am <em>not</em> dealing with that argument this early.”</p><p>“Easy,” Zeb boasts, grinning victoriously at Kallus. “See? I told ya, <em>Captain</em> Kallus.”</p><p>Kallus rolls his eyes good naturedly, “Wait until we go talk to Draven, <em>Captain</em> Orellios. Then tell me how easy it is.”</p><p>He shakes his head, then uses the side of the Ghost to slide down onto the ground. Zeb jumps down after him, and they join Hera and Kanan, hand in hand.</p><p>“Are you two headed up for breakfast?” Kallus asks politely.</p><p>“Yep,” Kanan answers, putting an arm around Hera as they return to their walk. “Care to join us?”</p><p>“Don’t mind if we do,” Zeb says, falling into step with the other couple.</p><p>Ezra and Sabine and Chopper catch up to them before long, and they find Rex already in the mess hall, with a table saved for them.</p><p>And there, having breakfast with the Spectre Squadron… Kallus finally feels at home, surrounded by family again. People he cares about, people he <em>loves</em>.</p><p>And he’ll do <em>anything</em> to keep them safe.</p><p>This is his family now; he <em>won’t</em> let the Empire take them away from him again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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